Tuesday, November 30, 2010

PARODY: Dare to Be Luth'ran

"Weird Al" Yankovic is one of the most brilliant musicians and recording artists of all time.  (Contradict me.  I dare you.)  He has made a career of being what he calls "a pop culture Cuisinart"--someone who takes the best (and sometimes the worst) of pop culture and bends and shapes it in a way the original artist probably never imagined it could go.  I firmly believe he should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and I hope one of these days he will be.

I have now done something I always wanted to do: write a parody of the parody.  In this case, the original song is called "Dare to Be Stupid", which is a style-parody of the band Devo.  The parody of this parody is called "Dare to Be Luth'ran", which is the catchphrase used by Higher Things.  Pastor Buetow suggested this one; and though it has popped into my head itself from time to time, it was his not-so-subtle prompting that pushed this project into the forefront--even ahead of another hymn I'm working on at the moment.  I threw in as many "Christian" cliches as I could, and even gave a passing nod to the famous dreidel of Hannukah. Let me know what you think, and let me know if you find those things that are not really Lutheran.

Anyway, here it is.  Again, thank you to Higher Things for your wonderful work.  And thank you, "Weird Al", for inspiring a generation of parody.

Dare to Be Luth'ran
(to the tune of "Dare to Be Stupid" by "Weird Al" Yankovic)

Put down that dreidel and listen to me
It's time for us to walk in the light
It's time to let your children make their faith decision
It's time to hear the Word just right
So hold to baptismal regeneration
You better hold to Jesus all of your days
You better . . . kneel and pray . . . both night and day
You better force your heart to be ablaze

You better ask Jesus into your heart
Before you find the pit of hell
Stick your head in the Bible, kid, and memorize each part

Talk to your Savior
Read your catechism
Read HT reflections, dude
Now don't be rude
Dare to be Luth'ran
Hey--receive Communion
Look to serve your neighbor
Pray the daily office now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be Luth'ran

You can sing a bunch of hymns
Hide beneath the Father's wings
You can hang with other Luth'rans when they meet for Higher Things

Dare to be Luth'ran
Come on and dare to be Luth'ran
It's so easy to do (dare to be Luth'ran)
We're all praying for you.
Let's go

Your neighbor asks you, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
"I didn't know that He was lost."
There's no more time for giving Jesus your heart
Now let's check what an indulgence costs
Say your prayers, come to Jesus, give your ten percent
Make your altar call at the revival tent
And wear God's holy armor--it will not dent
Fast in Lent
You can dare to be Luth'ran

You can have a Jesus fish
On the bumper of your car
So when the rapture comes
The other drivers know just who you are
Dare to be Luth'ran.
Yes--why don't you dare to be Luth'ran?
It's so easy, so easy to do (dare to be Luth'ran)
We're all praying for you (dare to be Luth-ran)

Tie that millstone 'round your neck
Chop your hand off, lest you sin
You don't want to end up in "heck"

You can be a life-long believer
You can sit around the house
And listen to the deceiver
You are baptized, it's true
So what you gonna do?
Dare to be Luth'ran 
Dare to be Luth'ran 

What did I say? (dare to be Luth'ran)
Tell me, what did I say?  (dare to be Luth'ran)
It's alright  (dare to be Luth'ran)
We can be Luth'ran all night  (dare to be Luth'ran)
C'mon, join the crowd  (dare to be Luth'ran)
Shout it out loud  (dare to be Luth'ran)
I can't hear you  (dare to be Luth'ran)
Okay, I can hear you now  (dare to be Luth'ran)
Let's go. Dare to be Luth'ran (dare to be Luth'ran)
Dare to be Luth'ran (dare to be Luth'ran)
Dare to be Luth'ran (dare to be Luth'ran)
Dare to be Luth'ran (DARE TO BE LUTH'RAN!)

(c) Alan Kornacki, Jr. and "Weird Al" Yankovic
(I am currently in the process of seeking permission from Mr. Yankovic to use this parody.)

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