Sunday, October 15, 2017

Sermon for 10/15/17: Eighteenth Sunday After Trinity

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Son and Lord

Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Amen. 

Jesus was like a juggernaut; He could not be stopped! First Jesus silenced the Sadducees when they tried to trap Him on the question of marriage. And then He tore through the Pharisees and their test about the greatest commandment and the nature of the Messiah. Those hypocrites needed to be set down a peg! The Lord deserves a standing ovation! But hold on there just a second. Jesus doesn't need our applause. He doesn't need any more people heaping honors on Him. He doesn't take the Pharisees to task just for the sake of scoring points. No, He does what He does to save you and me from our constant questioning of God.
Don’t bother to deny it: we interrogate our Lord all the time. We hold our little inquisition with God. We call upon Him to do what we want Him to do when we want Him to do it. We demand that He be the sort of God we think we need. When we lack money, we press Him to give us what we need…“and a little extra wouldn’t hurt either, Lord.” When there is a storm coming our way, we press Him to get to the work of being our God to save us. When our children are struggling or suffering, we storm the gates of heaven; we wonder why He allows such things to happen, and we demand that He fix what’s wrong. “Answer me the way I want, Lord! Take care of my problems, and be quick about it!”
Jesus changes the subject to save you. There can be no more asking questions about what kind of God He should be or how you think God should work for you. There can be no more testing God to make Him the sort of God you want Him to be. He directs you away from your fleshly desires, and He turns you to Himself. He pulls you away from your demands about what sort of God He is, and He leads you to a deeper confession of how the Father deals with you in Christ.
So let's talk about the Christ. “Whose Son is He?” Is the Christ David's Son or David's Lord? The answer is simple: He is both! The Christ is the Son of David and He is the Son of God. He is Son of David, having been born of the Virgin. He is the only-begotten Son of God. He is both God and man. He is Immanuel, “God with us,” God made flesh to dwell among His people.
St. Matthew says that after no one from the Pharisees, Sadducees, or the crowd dared to question Jesus again after this. And then, on Good Friday, one dared. The Roman Governor Pilate interrogated Jesus: “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus, now bruised and beaten, answered, “It is as you say.” That's Jesus telling Pilate—telling you—that He is the Christ. He is both King David's Son and King David's Lord. And then, from Pilate, Jesus went to Cross to show you what it means that He is David's Son and David's Lord. His death counts for you. His death counts for all the times you interrogated and doubted God. His death counts for you once and for all. On the third day, God raised Jesus from the dead. He raises you with Him in the waters of Holy Baptism. The Christ now sits at the right hand of God with all His enemies as a footstool under His feet. The devil, sin, death, and the world have all been defeated.
Today our Lord turns you aside. He keeps you from going on and on about what you think He should be doing. He is no longer your Mary Poppins or genie in a bottle to act according to your whims. Instead He says, “Enough about what you think. Here is what I did for you on the Cross. And here the daily bread you need to live.” David’s Lord died for you so that your old Adam would die with Him in the waters of Holy Baptism; and then the David’s Son rose to raise you with Him from those same waters. In the name of the Father and of the Son (+) and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.     

The peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus always.  Amen.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

PARODY: A collection of previously unreleased parodies

To apologize for not posting more lately, here's some parody fun for you.

Blest Be the Ties that Bind
(tune of "Blest Be the Tie that Binds")

1. Blest be the ties that bind
Our pastor's hands with "love".
He must commune my Druid aunt
Or we will make him move.

2. Can you believe? That man
Had the audacity
To say it's sin for my girlfriend
To share a bed with me.

3. Our children memorize
That Catechism stuff.
He wants to test them in the church
Though we say it's too tough.

4. At Grandma's burial,
He said that it would be
Wrong to let pagan Auntie Dell
Dance for fertility.

5. We rule with iron fists
With money and with fear.
We will make both him and his wife
Break down in anguished tears.

6. From his closed-minded ways
And meddling we'll be free.
The elders soon will force him out.
Who needs the Word? Not me.

Great Is My Faithfulness
(to the tune of "Great Is Thy Faithfulness")

1 Great is my faithfulness. Why do I bother
Going to church when I'm better? You see?
I sinneth not. Thy compassions, I need not.
But I will give Thee my advice for free.

Great is my faithfulness.
Great is my faithfulness.
Do you not wish all the Church was like me?
I have no need
For what you have provided.
Great is my faithfulness.
Way to go, me!

2 I like to grease all the wheels of church justice.
All the advice they need, I will provide.
I speak today; Pastor is gone tomorrow.
After all, I am the one who should guide.

Great is my faithfulness.
Great is my faithfulness.
Do you not wish all the Church was like me?
I have no need
For what you have provided.
Great is my faithfulness.
Way to go, me!

Just a Closer Walk to Pee
(tune of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee", of course)

(refrain) Just a closer walk to pee
Build a bathroom is my plea
Outhouses are gross to me
Let me pee, dear Lord, let me pee.

1. Some can hold it all day long
Lord, my bladder's not that strong
Peeing pants in church is wrong
Yet I long, dear Lord, long to pee.

2. As I climb the outhouse stairs
I cannot quite make it there
Thankfully I brought some spare
Panty pairs, knowing this just might be.

3. When the sermon's fin'lly o'er
I will run to pee once more
While the elders hold the door
I think they might just build one for me.