In Memoriam: Borrowed Words for Dad

He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives and I shall conquer death.

Dad’s funeral was today. My dad, Al Kornacki, died on Saturday, February 19. Of course it has been a difficult few days, between watching him struggle for each breath and then watching him take his last breath, planning his funeral, starting the process of going through his possessions, and then the finality of the funeral today. 

Whether or not you know who your father is, whatever kind of relationship you had with him—if, indeed, you had a relationship with him—you know what a father is; you have some idea of what a father should be to his children. I’ve had a father/son relationship with a number of men. I buried one of them in 2020, at the death of my vicarage bishop, Kim Scharff. At the time of his passing, I had many words to say to honor him; some of them might even have been eloquent. But for my biological father, the best man at my wedding? It’s too soon, maybe, and I’m too close. For my vicarage bishop, the kids had already lost their mother earlier in the year, and I was there to be the older brother none of them had growing up; that helped me keep some part of myself functional. For my own father? I don’t know what to say. 

Fortunately for me, a number of people have shared their memories of my father. He was a man who touched many in our community over a period of 60 years. He coached baseball teams for thirty years, from the time he was 16. He ran the Alternative Learning Center—in-school suspension, better known as “Al’s Little Corner”—for twenty years. He was in charge of the city’s Youth Center for decades. 

I like to joke that I have thousands of brothers and sisters, but in a very real sense, he was a surrogate father for a generation and more of North Tonawanda’s children. Whether it was on the website of his obituary, the family or recreation department Facebook posts announcing his death, or at the funeral home visitation, hundreds of people shared stories about how “Big Al” made a difference in their lives. He loved all the kids he worked with over the years, but he had a special place in his heart for the kids no one else seemed to want. In every aspect of his life, it was the troubled and trouble-making kids he seemed drawn to. So when I say I don’t have the words, I can borrow some from my many brothers and sisters. I hope they don’t mind.

• I wouldn’t be the man I am today without having met “Big Al.”
• Mr. Kornacki was a great man with a big heart and a great presence… When he spoke, we all listened!
• I remember him from school and the youth center... tough but very lovable...
• Al always took time out to learn more about each kid because he cared about everyone.  He'd pull you in his office and ask you how you are, how's your family, how is school going, etc.  He genuinely cared about people…
• He was there for me when my father passed when I was a kid. He always had the biggest heart!
• He was the guy we all went to when nobody else was around.
• Thanks for your patience when I needed it the most.
• Kids who didn't have much respect for adults or authority always seemed to treat Al as their confidant and someone who respected them. I was one of those kids back then. Al certainly helped me to see that I was on a path that could have been destructive. He never gave up and he was always positive and I and many other people owe him a debt of gratitude for his kindness.
• Thank you Al for believing in me and never giving up. I know I was a pain in the neck, but you saw and understood my struggle. I will forever be grateful for your kind heart and wisdom.

That’s the kind of man my dad was. Is. He affected every life he touched, and he tried to touch as many lives as possible. 

And that’s because of his faith in Jesus Christ. As Pastor Eder said at the funeral, “Al was a big man with a big faith.” My dad knew he was a beloved, baptized, forgiven child of God. His heavenly Father touched every aspect of his life. The love my dad received from God, he gave away to all his kids. And God just kept giving him more and more. That’s the kind of love I endeavor to share as a father, a husband, a pastor…a man. When I grow up, I want to be like my dad.

I’m fortunate that I will see my father every day when I look in the mirror. I’m blessed that I will be reunited with him every time I receive the Lord’s Supper with him, where we gather “with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven.” And I am looking forward to the Day when we will be forever reunited in the resurrection of all flesh. 

As he delighted to sing in the words of his favorite hymn:

Children of God,

Dying and rising,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

Heaven and earth,

Hosts everlasting,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

He has done marvelous things.  

I too will praise Him with a new song!

Twenty Years a Steward of God’s Mysteries

June 18, 2000 was Father’s Day, and it started out right: with the 8am service at my home church, St. Mark Lutheran in North Tonawanda, New York. I was there with my parents and with Pastor Kim Scharff and his wife, Mary. Kim and Mary had left their seven children at home to be with me on one of the most important days of my life: the day I would be Ordained into the Office of the Holy Ministry. It was appropriate that my biological and spiritual fathers were both there. I learned from Alan and Kathy what it means to be a Christian; I learned from Kim and Mary what it means to be a pastor and serve God’s people in the Holy Ministry. (It was also one of the last times I would see my maternal grandparents.)

That afternoon we gathered again at St. Mark. A small group of pastors gathered together along with friends and family and members of St. Mark. This collection of saints had seen me grow from childhood, supported me when I was still studying to be a Lutheran high school English teacher, and had the misfortune of hearing the first sermon I wrote during college. Fortunately, I was a much better preacher by the time I was placed there for fieldwork during my final year at the seminary. 

Pastor Scharff preached the sermon—I’ll include it at the end of this post. Pastor Doellinger, who was serving St. Mark at the time, administered the Rite of Ordination. And then I took over, celebrating the Sacrament of the Altar for the first time as the Officiant. A little over a month later, I would be Installed in my first parish. But June 18, 2000 was the beginning.

I’ve been a pastor for 20 years as of today. I’m right around middle age for a pastor, and I can feel that in the aches in my body and the increased confidence I have in using the gifts God has given me to serve His people. There are many joys in being a pastor—baptizing newborns and adults, teaching young people the Christian faith, delivering God’s gifts to His people (this is not an exhaustive list)—and these are rich blessings from the Lord of the Church. Still, it is not an easy path. The four years and seven months I spent without a Call, not to mention the two years leading up to that, certainly attest to this reality. The trials of the Ministry can be heartbreaking, and that heartbreak wears on a man. I love what I do, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I wouldn’t mind if God were to help me to be able more fully to enjoy the wonders a little more often and to endure and focus less on the sadness. That I do not always live and serve this way is my failing, not His.

This anniversary is just a touch bittersweet. As I thought about this day over the past few months, I’d planned to call Pastor Scharff and thank him once again for sharing that day with me. I can’t make that call; Kim is no longer there to answer. The Lord has given him rest from his labors. But I learned from Kim to be a pastor, and I wouldn’t have made it to this day—or even to that day 20 years ago—without him. 

So...here’s to another twenty years. At least. To God alone be the glory.

____________________

Here’s the Ordination sermon preached by the Reverend Kim Scharff. How right and fitting that he should share his wisdom with me once again. This is just as relevant today as it was twenty years ago.

What is a Pastor? What Can He Give?

St. Luke 10:16 and Augsburg Confession V

In the name of the Father and of the Son (+) and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Ours is a cynical age. What do you mean, pastor? Do we even know what “cynical” means? The Oxford English Dictionary defines a “cynic” as “one who has little faith in human sincerity.” And so, again, ours is a cynical age. Isn’t it true that we tend to assume, as often as not, that people just aren’t being truthful with us? What do you think when a politician tells you something? Aren’t you just a bit skeptical about whether or not he is telling the truth? What about the newscaster who peers at you through the television monitor; don’t you wonder just a bit about whether or not he is telling you the whole story? I think it was Mark Twain who said that he did not believe anything he heard and only half of what he could see. That’s just healthy skepticism, some would say; a good thing. But, is it a good thing? Is it a good thing over against the things of God? Is it a good way to approach the Office of the Holy Ministry?

Just a little over a hundred and fifty years ago, our Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod was born in the midst of cynicism over against the Office of the Holy Ministry. If you are not aware of this fact, you really should do some reading on the early years of our Church; you will find it interesting and enlightening. Some have even questioned, justifiably in my judgment, whether or not we have ever really gotten over those particular birth pains of our church body. Is there cynicism out there in the Church now about the Office of the Holy Ministry?

The words of our Lord Jesus Christ, from St. Luke’s Gospel, address this issue straight on. “He who hears you hears Me…” --- What is a pastor? If we are going to avoid being cynical about the Office of the Ministry, then we need an answer to this question. How does Jesus answer it? “He who hears you, hears Me…” The Office of the Holy Ministry is the voice of Jesus Christ in His Church. A pastor is the man God has put in His Church for the specific purpose of carrying out these words of our Lord: “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you…” (St. Matthew 28:18,19)

When our pastor faithfully speaks God’s Word to us, we are hearing the voice of Jesus. When he baptizes and offers us the body and blood of the Lord, his hands are the hands of Jesus. When he hears our confession and speaks the words of absolution to us, it is the voice of Jesus that we are hearing. Now, some would suggest that this is being a bit presumptuous. Jesus faced the same criticism when He told the paralytic not only to rise and go home, but that his sins were forgiven. They said of Him: “Why does this man speak thus? It is blasphemy. Who can forgive sins but God alone?” (St. Mark 2:7) St. Matthew offers this commentary: “When the crowds saw it they were afraid, and they glorified God who had given such authority to men.” (St. Matthew 9:8)

But, again, some would say that this is rather presumptuous. And yet, isn’t this precisely what we believe and confess? Listen to the Small Catechism on this matter: “I believe that when the called ministers of Christ deal with us by His divine command, especially when they exclude manifest and impenitent sinners from the Christian congregation, and, again, when they absolve those who repent of their sins and are willing to amend, this is as valid and certain, in heaven also, as if Christ, our dear Lord, dealt with us Himself.” --- Admittedly, this is a position that gives some people trouble. If a pastor is merely a “man among men,” then what he says and does carries no more weight than anyone else; it is only his opinion in the midst of many other opinions that bear equal significance. But, if the pastor is the voice of Jesus Christ; if he truly is the one God has put there to forgive the sins of the penitent and to retain the sins of the impenitent; if he is the one who is there to speak God’s words of life and hope; if he is, in fact, the one whom God has given to feed His people with the blessed Word and Sacraments, then we dare not take a cynical attitude toward what he says and does. “He who hears you hears Me, and he who rejects you rejects Me, and he who rejects Me rejects Him who sent Me.” This is what is at stake in our view of the Office of the Holy Ministry.

Now, you may say: “But isn’t it true, pastor, that there are some who abuse the Office of the Ministry by their teaching and by their actions?” Of course, that is true, and those who would abuse the Office of Jesus Christ in such ways are not fit for the office and should not hold it. Indeed, they should be removed from it, if necessary. But, at the same time, we need to be very careful that we do not cynically assume that every pastor will do this, if given the chance. Faithful pastors are a great blessing from God, and we can never honor that office highly enough because it has been given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ, out of His love and mercy toward His Church.

So, this is what a pastor is. But, there is another question, of equal significance, for which we need an answer if we are to avoid being cynical towards the Office of the Holy Ministry. What can a pastor give? The Augsburg Confession, which we believe to be a faithful exposition of the teaching of Holy Scripture, says: “In order that such faith may be obtained, God has instituted the Office of the Ministry, for the preaching of the Gospel and administering of the Sacraments. Through these, as through means, He gives the Holy Spirit, who works faith, when and where He pleases, in those who hear the Gospel…” --- I remember one of my seminary professors telling us that the preaching and teaching of God’s Word and administering the Holy Sacraments, is a full time, and more than a full time, vocation. Any pastor, He said, who does this work faithfully and fully will have neither time nor inclination to do much of anything else. After nearly two decades in the ministry, I think I am beginning to understand what he meant, and it goes right to the heart of what we are discussing. --- The Lord of the Church very carefully prescribes what a pastor can give. And I use the word “prescribe” purposely, because there are limits that have been set. Creating and sustaining faith is the “business”, if you will, of the Office of the Ministry. “In order that such faith may be obtained…,” the confession says.

What do we expect of our pastors? What expectations will the members of St. Paul and St. Peter have of Pastor Kornacki? If our expectations fall beyond the boundaries of Word and Sacrament, then they are expectations we really should not have. I am not speaking here about questions of morality and ethics; that is an issue unto itself. I am talking about the work of a pastor. It is not the work of pastors to try and solve all the world’s problems, though it is their task to apply the healing balm of the Gospel to the problems of the heart and soul. It is not the work of pastors to build the communities in which they live into little “divine fortresses,” though it certainly is their work to build up those committed to their care that they might, in turn, bear a righteous witness among the neighbors. It is not the work of pastors to “fatten” the church’s bank account, though it surely is their work to hold before the people of God that wonderful generosity of the Father in heaven, who not only provides all that we need to support our bodies and lives, but who also gave His own dear Son into suffering and death as the sacrifice for our sins; the price of our redemption. --- “In order that such faith may be obtained, God has instituted the Office of the Ministry, for the preaching of the Gospel and administering of the Sacraments…” That is all, but, surely, that is enough! It is enough because, in the end, it is all we really need. It is enough because, in His wisdom, this is the boundary that God Himself has set for this office He intends to bless.

In the eyes of the world, the Church is a strange enterprise. The same can be said for the Office of the Holy Ministry. Success and validity in this world are measured by what and how much you produce. What do you have to show for what you are doing? What’s your “bottom line?” Or, to put a more “religious” cast on it, how many new members did you gain last year? How many converts have you had in the last five years? When that is the standard by which both Church and Ministry are measured, we will, most often, to quote (or should it be misquote) the prophet Daniel, be “weighed in the balance, and found wanting.” But, what if someone had come to Jesus after His “Bread of Life” sermon in John 6 and asked Him about how His following had grown? What could He have said? His followers were leaving Him like rats leaving a sinking ship. Only twelve remained, and, no doubt, some of them were weighing their options. And yet, that may be precisely what happens when the Church and the Ministry are saying and doing what God has given them to say and do.

The Kingdom of God is hidden; it is hidden behind the cross of Christ. May we never forget that the blessed Gospel, which we hold so dear, and to which we cling with all our might is, at the same time, the greatest offense the world has ever known. It insists that as man is helpless, so God reigns supreme. As man can do nothing to save himself, so God can and has and will do everything. And therein lies the cynicism of the world over against what you and I, as pastors and as the people of God, believe and do. We walk by faith, not by sight, and that is something which a cynic, whether inside or outside the church, can never accept. --- And yet, this is just what moves us to rejoice on this day! We give ourselves over into the hands of God, convinced of His love for us and His intention to bless us. As the Church, we rejoice that the Church’s Lord has called and now sends another man to serve in His holy office. And you, brother, rejoice in that same certainty that it is the call of the Lord of the Church that you have heard and now will answer. The time has come to lay aside whatever doubts and fears we may have. The God of all grace lives and reigns forever and ever. He gives His people faith in His lovingkindess and tender mercy. And He places into the hands and hearts and voices of His pastors the Word of life. “He who hears you hears Me,” to which we joyfully give answer, “Thanks be to God!” In the name of the Father and of the Son (+) and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

In Memoriam: A Pastor's Study After

This is the pastor’s study at Trinity Lutheran Church in Norborne, Missouri. It’s mostly empty now--I wish I had taken a "before" picture--but for the past 32 years it has been occupied by the Reverend Kim Scharff, whose funeral is this weekend.

It’s strange to see it bereft of books, for Kim was an avid reader. Of course he read theology in all its disciplines, but his reading interests were varied and wide: history, classic literature, politics, current events, and music all decorated his shelves. Kim was a brilliant man. He read and absorbed all these books, pondered what he read, and was able to speak intelligently about what he’d read, both in agreement and in disagreement.

Music was another constant in the study during Kim’s tenure. The CD player (and the cassette player before that) was constantly running, and anyone entering would be welcomed by the strains of J.S. Bach, Duruflé, Stravinsky, Vaughn Williams, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, or any of hundreds of other composers whose music graced his shelves. His taste in music vastly improved my own, to the extent that I had made a list of albums in his collection that I wanted in mine, and I’ve spent the past twenty-plus years acquiring them.

I was blessed to spend a year in that study, learning from him as a vicar. We spent long hours in there, praying, reading, writing, discussing a variety of topics, and sometimes sitting quietly, enjoying heavenly compositions.

It stands empty for now. Life goes on. With Kim’s death, Trinity will, for the first time since 1988, seek to Call a new pastor to serve them, serve with them, and be served by them. A new pastor will walk into this study, put his books on shelves, and sit at the desk. He will write sermons, pray for the flock in his care, and prepare to teach young and old about the wonderful works of God. It won’t be the same...and yet it will, for Christ will use this man to preach His Word and to deliver His Gifts to the people He places into this new pastor’s care, just as He did with Pastor Scharff.

I will miss Pastor Scharff, my friend, mentor, bishop, and spiritual father and brother. Trinity Lutheran Church in Norborne will miss Pastor Scharff, their undershepherd, the man who baptized, confirmed, married, and buried a generation of their congregation. But life goes on. God is good. Kim is at rest with his beloved Mary, awaiting the Resurrection of all flesh at the Last Day. And we will be reunited with him—first, as we gather “with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven” at the Communion rail, and then forever.

It’s a good study in a good church with wonderful people. And God is good, too. Knowing both these things, I know the study won’t be empty long.

+ The Reverend Klemet I. Preus +

With my 500th blog post, I'm sad to share that I received word today that the Reverend Klemet I. Preus, Pastor of Glory of Christ Lutheran Church in Plymouth, Minnesota, has been called home today by the Lord to rest from his labors. I pray that the peace of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit would be with his family, friends, and congregation. God is faithful; He will surely do it.

For some of my readers, undoubtedly the first thing you might be thinking is, "Who is Klemet Preus?" That's understandable, even for life-long Lutherans. In the "Six Degrees of Separation of the Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod," undoubtedly most life-long Lutherans have heard the name of "Preus" at some point. J.A.O. Preus was President of the Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod, and Jacob's brother Robert was President of Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Robert was Klemet's father, and Jacob his uncle. The Preus family is rather large, and many in the family have chosen to serve the Church in an official capacity, so coming across the name should come as no surprise. Yet even though we are all connected, among the over-2 million LCMS Lutherans, of course we will find strangers. And as Klemet never sought glory for himself, his own name might not raise an immediate flag of recognition.


Pastor Preus was a bold preacher of the Gospel of the incarnate Christ. This was never more apparent than in the days when death drew near. The Reverend Matthew Harrison, President of the LCMS, shared an account of a visit he made with Pastor Preus in hospice:

We spent the day with Rev. Klemet Preus and Janet at the hospice where Klemet is spending his last days on this earth. I have never been so encouraged and strengthened as I was spending that day with Klemet. He is singularly focused on Christ and the gift of eternal life. He is singularly focused on sharing Christ and his hope with others. He is physically incapacitated having suffered a debilitating stroke. His right shoulder is fractured due to the weakening caused by cancer. He can not move. Yet he is a source of constant joy, encouragement and love to all those around him. He knows hundreds of hymns by heart. Daily his brother in law visits him in the morning to sing matins. After Steve read the text for the day, he said, "Klemet, you've preached on this text many times haven't you?" "Yes I have," came the response. "What did you preach?" Then Klemet gave a five minute homily on the beautiful surety of Christ's word in the holy scriptures and the place where the word of forgiveness is delivered in Church on sunday. I was floored and humbled. Klemet woke at one point later in the day saying, "Jan! Thank God for LIFE! Thank God for life! Get the wine Jan. Everyone gets two glasses. Thank God for LIFE! We're paying for it Jan. Two glasses for everyone. The kids can have one glass. Thank God for life! Tell Christian and Cindy [brother and sister in law] let's get this party started. Thank God for Life!" Hundreds of bible passages from friends all over the country have been printed and taped to the walls of his hospice room. What a blessing.

As for me...well, as far as I know, I only stood within ten feet of the man once. Having been inspired to persevere while reading his book The Fire and the Staff when I was a pastor without a congregation, I tried to meet him at the Higher Things gathering in Illinois in July of 2011. "Tried" is the operative word, as everyone seemed to want to speak with him. I never got to speak with him. Yet I will never forget him. His words, his faithful confession, his joy in the Lord, will always be a part of my ministry and my life in Christ. I will forever thank God for Pastor Preus and his faithful words as I stood with my staff but had no sheep to tend.

Thanks be to God, for I know I meet Klemet now at the Communion rail, and I will meet him and rejoice forever at the eternal Wedding Feast.

"Lord, let at last Thine angels come..."

"Sing a hymn to Christ as to God"

The panel of speakers

I was fortunate and honored to be selected to attend The Sung Confession: Lutheran Hymnwriting in the 21st Century, a conference of hymn writers this week. The conference took place at the Toddhall Retreat and Conference Center in Columbia, Illinois. If you read my blog--which you must, if you're reading this--then you know that I've been writing hymns for about three and a half years now. Some of them are dross; some...well, some may not be dross after a great deal of editing. A large number of people submitted three hymns for evaluation and consideration, and (because of financial limitations) of those hopefuls only thirty were selected after the evaluation process to attend the conference. 

After taking some time to let everything sink in, I have a few thoughts to share.

The Presentations

The meat of the conference was provided by our presenters. Meat it was, and not cotton candy, with which they fed us over the three days.

• The presentations opened with Dr. Joe Herl on What Works and What Doesn't: Lessons from the Hymnal. He opened his presentation with an interesting premise, and I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember his exact words. It was something like, "The church's song has a longer-term impact on our peoples' theology than her sermons do." He asked how many of us remember hymns we sang as children, and then he followed that up by asking how many of us remember sermons we heard as children. He talked about comparative strengths and weaknesses of certain hymns which spoke of similar subjects, and he emphasized the importance of imagery in hymnody. He encouraged us to examine the works of John Donne and Charles Wesley as positive examples.
• Pastor Steve Starke was next, presenting One Perspective on the Craft of Writing a Hymn Text. He began with the very helpful definition: "A hymn is a combination of doctrine (dogma) and worship (doxa) for worshipers to sing in a corporate setting." As with Dr. Herl before him, Starke emphasized the importance of vivid imagery. He also emphasized the importance of the care which goes into examining the doctrine which goes into a hymn, as false theology in hymns invite worshipers to share in and accept false perspectives. He encouraged us to examine the works of Timothy Dudley-Smith and Paul Gerhardt as positive examples. Finally, he encouraged us to offer our hymn texts for use. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I have, at times, been critical of Pastor Starke and his hymns. Part of that, I think, comes from unfamiliarity. Like most Lutherans, I don't like change and find myself suspicious of new things. His large imprint on Lutheran Service Book was all too easy a target for such suspicion. Sinner that I am, part of my disdain has certainly come from the demon named Competition which gnaws into my heart and leaves behind his poisonous saliva infested with the germs of jealousy. As Jesus might say, "Is your eye evil because I am good?" Having met with the man, I can say that I found him to be well-spoken, thoughtful, and willing to share his knowledge without being overbearing or displaying narcissism. I owe him an apology which I probably should have delivered in person.)
• The Reverend Doctors David Maxwell and David Schmitt presented The Nuts and Bolts of Hymn Construction. "Hymn construction" is an apt way of describing their presentation, as they spoke of syllables/meter, accent, rhyme, and progression, the actual skeleton of hymns. As a former English major and after two years of high school music theory, some of this was review for me, but applying it directly as we analyzed and broke down some hymns to examine their skeletons was an eye-opener.
• Matthew Carver presented The Art and Science of (German) (Lutheran) (Hymn) Translation. Matthew has been a blessing to the English-speaking church, translating such treasures as the four books (in two volumes) of The Great Works of God by Valerius Herberger and, more recently, Walther's Hymnal. He spoke of the advantage of using hymns that have been tested by time and circumstances, even when that means translating them into the vernacular. One who would translate must know his own language, the other language, and know the hymn itself inside and out.
• The Reverend Doctor Frederick Baue, known most commonly as Fritz, presented Lyric Poetry. Using popular poetry and song lyrics as examples, Fritz spoke about the what makes for good and memorable texts. He encouraged the reading and study of poetry. (A gifted musician, Fritz used his guitar to good advantage to aid his presentation.)
• Our last presenter was Peter Reske, managing editor of music and worship resources at Concordia Publishing House, who presented Six Lessons from a Hymnal Editor. He opened by telling us that the Church needs good hymns. He spoke of how hymnody is the intersection of three disciplines: theology, poetry, and music, and how those who would write hymns must be students of all three disciples. Writers must write; they must also read. Study hymnals and hymnology, poetry, theology, and music. He emphasized that writers must be willing to edit themselves severely--or as he quoted Arthur Quiller-Couch, "Murder your darlings." And at the end he discussed various methods of getting the hymns out into the Church. 

All in all, the presenters gave an excellent overview of the craft of writing hymns. Though each presenter nibbled at it, the only thing that was missing, I think, was a full-on theological presentation, something to round all of it out and bring it all together. That being said, I was pleased with the content we were given and plan to use their teachings to improve what I've already written and shape what I hope to write in the future.

Chapel

One of the highlights of the conference for me was the opportunities for prayer. We gathered a number of times each day for prayer offices. The services were liturgical, used directly from Lutheran Service Book. We prayed numerous psalms. We sang hymns--and sang and sang and sang! On Monday night we had a hymn sing, hymns from LSB interspersed with hymns from the conference attendees. It was scheduled to be half an hour. Pastor Weedon, who was worship leader, master of ceremonies, and head honcho for the conference, extended that to 45 minutes, and finally let it run for a full hour before we moved into Compline. The singing was glorious, often done in four-part harmony without the aid of the organ--though Dr. Herl graciously thundered out anything we selected. It was a foretaste of eternity, when we will join in the hymns of "angels and archangels and all the company of heaven."

Gemütlichkeit and free time

Whenever Lutherans get together for conferences, there is always the conference within the conference. This is where the rubber hits the road; this is where the actual work gets done, in a sense. The attendees sit around in smaller groups with beer and wine, cigars, and snacks, and they shoot the proverbial breeze. When you gather thirty attendees along with presenters and a few guests, people with diverse backgrounds, you're bound to have some interesting dynamics. Sometimes it was reunions of old friends. In other cases it was complete strangers or "internet friends" meeting for the first time. Excellent discussions, the singing of even more hymns, and the consumption of Lutheran beverages were hallmarks of our free time. (I don't think any of us will look at St. Ambrose the same way ever again. *wink*)

Overall

It would not be an exaggeration for me to say that I'm different now than I was before the conference. If you've ever been to a Higher Things conference, you probably know what I mean when I say that. When you spend an intense period of time with a group of people and learn about the Word and God's gift of song and story, you can't help but be molded, shaped, by what you've heard and seen. (By the way, that's why in-house seminary education is so vitally important.) In some ways I wish the conference had been longer, but if the truth were told, after three days my head was so stuffed with information and thoughts and...stuff, and it's going to take a while to unpack it all. 

I am very thankful to have had this opportunity, and I would like to thank those who organized it; the presenters who gave of their time and knowledge and experience; those who provided the financial backing to make it a free conference for the attendees; my fellow participants, whom I hope to get many chances to meet with and maybe even work with in the future; and my wife, family, and congregation, none of whom begrudged me the time to attend.

How much does someone else's opinion matter?

I'm on vacation this week, so I don't have a sermon of my own to post. Once I return from vacation and secure permission from Pastor Fish to post the sermon he preached at St. Peter in my absence, I'll post his sermon.

In the meantime, here's something I've been chewing on for about a month. 

I'm about to start writing my third novel. I won't ever be a full-time writer. I love being a parish pastor too much to set it aside for what is, for me, a hobby--no matter how much I enjoy that hobby. Anyway, I've taken to reading some writer blogs over the past few years. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a waste of time, but every so often there's a golden nugget to be mined from the midst of all the garbage, something that gives me an insight that helps me as a writer. Sometimes there's even something that helps me as a pastor. 

This time, such was not the case. Here's something I read last month that has since been knocking around my head.

I don’t understand those people who let what someone says discourage them.  I love the classic story, told in various formats:  The young man wanted to be a great violinist.  The master came to town and the young man wrangled an audition with him.  He played his heart out.  When he was done he asked the master what he thought.  The master said:  “Not enough fire.” The young man was crushed.  He quit the violin and pursued a different career.  Many years later he met the master at a function.  He told him about the audition and the result.  The master was surprised and said:  “I tell everyone that.  If my saying that was enough to stop you, then you really didn’t have enough fire.”  No one can stop you, but you. [Copied from this blog post on the Genreality writing blog; emphasis mine.]

I've never met the source of that story (that I know of), and I've never met the writer who shared that story on the blog. But more than once I've heard something similar to what this "master" said to his student. Some people call it motivation. Others call it reverse psychology. Some people buy that crap.

In reality, it is what's commonly known as bullying. We tell our children not to be bullies, and we tell our children to stand up to bullies. But what do we do when the people who are meant to protect and guide us are the very ones who are shoving us to the ground? Strangely, we give them the title of "mentor" or "teacher", and we grant them tenure, and we honor them as leaders in their fields.

It's possible I'm too sensitive to these things. After all, I've been there. I've been bullied by classmates and I've been "motivated" by teachers. I had a teacher for "Government" my Senior year of high school--a teacher who was student favorite by all accounts--who told me I had a lousy work ethic and wouldn't amount to anything. (Amusingly, my Senior year of high school, I was taking a full class load, participating in elective activities for the first time, and had a job where I worked 10 hours a week and volunteered on top of that.) Maybe he would look at how far he might think I've come since then and think that I have him to thank for my success. If that's what he wants, I won't disabuse him of his delusion. What he and others like him don't understand is that the trust people place in their teachers and mentors leaves them vulnerable to the slightest word of disapproval, and their brand of "motivation" can leave their charges battered and broken. 

Yeah, I know: Butch up, princess. Because that helps, too. 

I'm not saying that we need to coddle those who come to us for teaching, for advice, for guidance. We do them no favors when we give them everything without making them work for it. But words have power, and a writer should understand that better than most. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break my psyche.

#40 . . . With a Bullet

A number of my friends and fellow bloggers (like Rick Stuckwisch and Chris Esget) have put together lists of their most influential music albums.  Thinking about the role which music has played in my life, I decided to put together my own list.  Obviously it won't be a comprehensive list--after all, I own over a thousand CDs, and all of them have influenced me in some way.  These are the ones that left the greatest impression, that reached me at a certain point in time and made an impact.

I doubt I could rank them from highest to lowest, looking back over the past 35 years.  Time magnifies some things and desensitizes others.  So what I've done is list them chronologically according to when the album as a whole made its initial impact on me.  That means some of the albums might be dated differently than the year they were originally released.  (Since some of these albums are from before I was born, that should be obvious.)  The chronology might be different if I went by when a certain song from the album influenced me, but that's not what I'm going for right now. 

By the way, you'll notice a few "Greatest Hits" collections on here.  That's because those albums are how I first encountered the artist's work as a collection.  (For example, I encountered "Rock N Soul Pt. 1" by Hall & Oates long before I ever bought a studio album of theirs.)

All that being said, here we go with . . .

My Top 40 Most Influential Albums

1. 1979 - Kiss: Destroyer
2. 1980 - Styx: Paradise Theater
3. 1982 - Toto IV
4. 1982 - John Mellencamp: American Fool (released as John Cougar)
5. 1982 - Asia: Asia
6. 1982 - Michael Jackson: Thriller
7. 1983-1984 - Billy Joel: An Innocent Man
8. 1984 - Hall & Oates: Rock N Soul Pt. 1
9. 1986 - OST: St. Elmo's Fire
10. 1986 - "Weird Al" Yankovic: Dare to Be Stupid
11. 1986-1987 - Boston: Third Stage
12. 1986-1987 - Bon Jovi: Slippery When Wet
13. 1987 - Bryan Adams: Reckless
14. 1988 - Dan Fogelberg: The Innocent Age (especially disc 1)
15. 1988 - Mannheim Steamroller: A Fresh Aire Christmas
16. 1989 - America: Greatest Hits
17. 1990 - Fleetwood Mac: Rumours
18. 1990 - The Eagles: Greatest Hits 1971-75
19. 1990 - Metallica: . . . And Justice For All
20. 1991 - Journey: Infinity
21. 1991 - Pink Floyd: The Wall
22. 1992 - Peter Gabriel: So
23. 1992 - Neil Diamond: 12 Hits Vol. 2
24. 1992 - Meatloaf: Bat out of Hell
25. 1992 - Joe Jackson: Night and Day
26. 1993 - Jackson Browne: Running on Empty
27. 1993 - Queen: A Kind of Magic (and Innuendo)
28. 1994 - Barenaked Ladies: Gordon
29. 1995 - Harry Chapin: Greatest Stories Live
30. 1995 - Crosby Stills & Nash: So Far
31. 1995 - Sarah McLachlan: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
32. 1996 - Cake: Fashion Nugget
33. 1996 - Alison Krauss: Now That I've Found You
34. 1998 - Praetorius: Mass for Christmas Morning (Paul McCreesh conducting the Gabrieli Consort and Players)
35: 1999 - Holly Cole: Temptation
36: 2000 - Gary Allan: Smoke Rings in the Dark
37. 2001 - Liz Phair: Whipsmart
38. 2002 - Damien Rice: O
39. 2003 - Evanescence: Fallen
40. 2009 - Breaking Benjamin: Dear Agony

Honorable Mention
1986 - Elton John: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
1990 - REO Speedwagon: Hi Infidelity
1990 - Led Zeppelin: IV (ZOSO)
1991 - Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon / Wish You Were Here
1993 - Barry Manilow: Greatest Hits Vol. 1 (and 2 and 3)
1998 - Ani Difranco: Living in Clip
1998 - Ecole Notre Dame: Messe du Jour de Noel (Marcel Pérès conducting Ensemble Organum)
2000 - David Bowie: Changesbowie

Calling Miss Manners

And now for something completely different . . .


I went into the bank today to drop off some paperwork for my day job. Like a boy whose parents and preschool teachers taught him manners (and whose children hear the message from Yo Gabba Gabba!), I stood in line while the two tellers were occupied. An older man came into the bank, walked up to a woman who was transacting her business with one of the tellers, and struck up a conversation. When the woman's business was done and she walked away, he set his paperwork on the counter and began his own transaction with the teller.

One of the first lessons we learn in school--if not the very first--is to stand in line and wait your turn. We used to call things like waiting your turn in line "common courtesy". The problem is, it's not all that common anymore. My parents didn't use physical punishment on me often, but my mother slapped me twice, and both times were for saying or doing something rude. I certainly don't live a life of perfect courtesy today, though I do try to be polite. I learned that lesson the hard way.

I hear a goodly number of senior citizens talking about how rude the younger generation is today. My word of advice to senior citizens: if you're going to complain about the rudeness of young people today, it might come over better if you didn't show a lack of common courtesy yourself. After all, we learned it from *somewhere*.

That doesn't excuse my generation or the generation younger than me. Whether we've learned the bad habits of discourtesy by example or just out of thin air, it's time to change. Whether or not the old man doesn't hold the post office door for you, it's time to hold the door for a lady or for an elderly person. Whether or not you receive thanks for doing something, it's time to thank the person who does something for you, even if they're only doing their job. And even if some old guy cuts in line ahead of you, don't be rude in return.

After all, maybe they don't have grandchildren in preschool to teach them common courtesy.

Television isn't completely evil

I like watching television. I can't deny it. I like a good story, and when a TV show has a good plot and well-played characters, I can watch it for hours on end. (Just look at the TV shows I have in my DVD collection, and you'll see what I mean.) So finding a JAG marathon on the USA network and a Stargate SG-1 marathon on the (unfortunately-named) Syfy network, I was torn. Finally I settled on the Stargate SG-1 marathon to watch as I got ready for work, as I liked those specific episodes better than the JAG episodes they were showing this morning.

I know we often hear tales of the evils of television: how it shows too much violence, how it turns the minds of our children to pudding for the likes of Alec Baldwin to eat (and yes, I find it highly plausible that Alec Baldwin is an alien whose mission is to eat human brains), how it makes our children fat. But there's another side to the story. At its best, television powerfully portrays the human condition. Good writers recognize that the best stories are ones that have an authentic feel. In other words, they show us how we truly are. Yes, the Cosby Show was somewhat unrealistic in that every problem could be solved in thirty minutes, but the show portrayed real problems that real families face. Yes, M*A*S*H had some outrageous stories, but the patients did not all miraculously survive and the doctors weren't "saints in surgical garb", as one episode pointed out.

One double-episode during the seventh season of Stargate SG-1 in particular makes this abundantly clear. One of the characters--not a main character but a major character nonetheless--dies during a mission. Though the medium of science fiction sometimes allows characters to be resurrected, this character was not. And the characters respond according to their natures. The more emotional character--yes, she's a woman, but she can still outthink you and kick your ass at the same time--mourns. The intellectual character, though grieving, is forced to consider the personal, ethical and moral ramifications of sharing or not sharing the events around this person's death with a news crew on the base who are assembling a documentary about the Stargate program. My description of these things is cold, I know; the portrayal of these things is not. The characters are moved by the events. And the more the characters are moved, the more the audience is moved as well. And it is the very realism, even in the midst of a science fiction show, which makes that possible.

Not all television is edifying, but not everything that's worth learning is learned from books. Even television can be an asset in learning about our fellow man. While I don't suggest making all human observations based on watching television, not everything you see there will rot your brain. (Take that, Alec Baldwin!)

Belated and fond farewell

I just found out that an old pastor acquaintance of mine died two-and-a-half years ago. This gentleman pastor, a man who had served all of his adult life and served some more after he retired, had served the vacancy at one of the congregations in served in North Dakota before I arrived. He was a mentor from a distance, I guess one could say, and I learned from him (even though I didn't always show it) the patience of the Office of the Ministry. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that I hadn't heard. I'm not in touch with a lot of people up there anymore, but I'm still sad that he's gone. Nonetheless, I am sure with the certainty of faith that Pastor Theiss is resting in the arms of his Savior.

"The Conservative Reformation and Its Theology" by Charles Porterfield Krauth

When I was on my vicarage, I spent a lot of time poring over (and lusting after) my vicarage bishop's library. I have been able to reproduce much of that library in the years since then, but for the longest time I was unable to acquire The Conservative Reformation and its Theology by Charles Porterfield Krauth. I gave some thought to acquiring it through less than honest means--read as: photocopier--but I contented myself with a number of other books and hoped that someday I'd find it through a used bookstore of in the library of some retiring pastor.

Then Concordia Publishing House decided to reprint this volume, and I obtained for myself a copy. The unfortunate arrival in Louisiana of hurricane Gustav gave me the opportunity to start reading this weighty volume, and it has been a true blessing to me. I've only read about half of it in the past six months, but reading it has re-kindled in my the joy of theological learning. I've spent much of the past three years pining for what I've been missing outside of parish ministry. God only knows when or if I will return to parish ministry. As I wait and as I serve area congregations as a pulpit supply pastor, this book has helped to bring some theological depth back into my thinking, which in turns feeds the sermons I preach and the Bible studies I lead.

Let me share with you a quote that reminds me of the pastor and the man I want to be: "But, with all, and in all, and above all, we wish to send forth men, who shall be living illustrations of the power of the gospel they preach; men, who shall show the oneness and stability of a true faith, ready to yield preferences to secure principles, to make the sacrifices of love to the consciences of the weak in things indifferent, and to stand as the anvil to the beater under the strokes of obloquy and misrepresentation. We wish men, who will have the mind of Jesus Christ, thrilling in every pulse with love to souls . . ." (p. 178)

I don't know that I've been that man, that pastor. I don't know that I can be that pastor. In fact, I know I can't be that pastor. I repent of those failures. God willing and God helping me, I can but strive to be that pastor, to repent when I fail, and to rely on the power of the Word of God to do what I cannot.

If you haven't already done so, whether layman or pastor, do pick this book up and read it. I can heartily recommend it, and I commend Concordia Publishing House for reprinting it.

Now if I can just get up the nerve to see if they'll print my novel . . .

I've been tagged: My Spiritual Influences

Thanks to The Rev. Charles Lehmann at http://chaz-lehmann.livejournal.com/ for tagging me with this question:
What five people, past or present, inspire your spiritual life? (From what I hear, the initial instructions for this meme say that Jesus is assumed and doesn't need to be listed. Luther also is if you are a Lutheran. ) These come in no particular order after the first one.

1. The Rev. Kim L. Scharff, my vicarage Bishop. He doesn't blog, and he barely participates online. However, he has been and continues to be a profound influence on my spiritual life. I was a somewhat lukewarm Lutheran before I started my vicarage. Under his tutelage, I found myself caring about theology, caring about liturgy, caring about something more than generic spirituality.

2. The Orthodox priest formerly known as the Rev. Dr. C. Robb Hogg--now known, I believe, as Fr. Gregory Hogg. Though I will never follow him across the Bosphorus into "Orthodoxy", Dr. Hogg as one of my seminary professors first kindled in me an interest beyond a vague curiosity in the Lutheran Confessions. It saddens me that he has since abandoned the confession that he defended so competently, and that he led so many away with him. However, I still have my notes from Confessions I, and I hope never to lose them.

3. The Rev. Dr. Harold Senkbeil. I've never had him as a professor, but his book Dying to Live: The Power of Forgiveness has had a profound influence on my life. I read this book at the same time that I was first reading Franz Pieper's Christian Dogmatics, and the fact that he made the faith so profoundly simple influenced my preaching and teaching as a pastor.

4. The Rev. John T. Pless. Another man I've never had as a professor, but his writings have had a significant influence on me. His focus on liturgy and pastoral care (and liturgy as pastoral care) has guided me as a parish pastor. (And I ask that no one blame him for my failures.) When I was a single man convinced that I would remain a single man, he encouraged me to believe that it would not stunt my ability to be a pastor to married people.

5. Deaconess Emily Carder. She drives me absolutely nuts sometimes. When we first encountered each other I wanted to smack her upside the head--maybe literally. However, she forced me to look deeper into things, to examine more closely what I was saying and the implications of what lurks beneath the surface of my words. Still drives me nuts, but I have a great deal of respect for her. And I wish I knew my languages as well as she does.

Honorable Mention: the Rev. Eric Swyres, the Rev. Drew Newman, the Rev. Dr. John Stephenson (though I ask you not to tell him--his head is already big enough), the Rev. Thomas K. Spahn (who was the first to instill in me a love for the liturgy).

I won't tag anyone, but feel free to share.