In Memoriam: Borrowed Words for Dad

He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives and I shall conquer death.

Dad’s funeral was today. My dad, Al Kornacki, died on Saturday, February 19. Of course it has been a difficult few days, between watching him struggle for each breath and then watching him take his last breath, planning his funeral, starting the process of going through his possessions, and then the finality of the funeral today. 

Whether or not you know who your father is, whatever kind of relationship you had with him—if, indeed, you had a relationship with him—you know what a father is; you have some idea of what a father should be to his children. I’ve had a father/son relationship with a number of men. I buried one of them in 2020, at the death of my vicarage bishop, Kim Scharff. At the time of his passing, I had many words to say to honor him; some of them might even have been eloquent. But for my biological father, the best man at my wedding? It’s too soon, maybe, and I’m too close. For my vicarage bishop, the kids had already lost their mother earlier in the year, and I was there to be the older brother none of them had growing up; that helped me keep some part of myself functional. For my own father? I don’t know what to say. 

Fortunately for me, a number of people have shared their memories of my father. He was a man who touched many in our community over a period of 60 years. He coached baseball teams for thirty years, from the time he was 16. He ran the Alternative Learning Center—in-school suspension, better known as “Al’s Little Corner”—for twenty years. He was in charge of the city’s Youth Center for decades. 

I like to joke that I have thousands of brothers and sisters, but in a very real sense, he was a surrogate father for a generation and more of North Tonawanda’s children. Whether it was on the website of his obituary, the family or recreation department Facebook posts announcing his death, or at the funeral home visitation, hundreds of people shared stories about how “Big Al” made a difference in their lives. He loved all the kids he worked with over the years, but he had a special place in his heart for the kids no one else seemed to want. In every aspect of his life, it was the troubled and trouble-making kids he seemed drawn to. So when I say I don’t have the words, I can borrow some from my many brothers and sisters. I hope they don’t mind.

• I wouldn’t be the man I am today without having met “Big Al.”
• Mr. Kornacki was a great man with a big heart and a great presence… When he spoke, we all listened!
• I remember him from school and the youth center... tough but very lovable...
• Al always took time out to learn more about each kid because he cared about everyone.  He'd pull you in his office and ask you how you are, how's your family, how is school going, etc.  He genuinely cared about people…
• He was there for me when my father passed when I was a kid. He always had the biggest heart!
• He was the guy we all went to when nobody else was around.
• Thanks for your patience when I needed it the most.
• Kids who didn't have much respect for adults or authority always seemed to treat Al as their confidant and someone who respected them. I was one of those kids back then. Al certainly helped me to see that I was on a path that could have been destructive. He never gave up and he was always positive and I and many other people owe him a debt of gratitude for his kindness.
• Thank you Al for believing in me and never giving up. I know I was a pain in the neck, but you saw and understood my struggle. I will forever be grateful for your kind heart and wisdom.

That’s the kind of man my dad was. Is. He affected every life he touched, and he tried to touch as many lives as possible. 

And that’s because of his faith in Jesus Christ. As Pastor Eder said at the funeral, “Al was a big man with a big faith.” My dad knew he was a beloved, baptized, forgiven child of God. His heavenly Father touched every aspect of his life. The love my dad received from God, he gave away to all his kids. And God just kept giving him more and more. That’s the kind of love I endeavor to share as a father, a husband, a pastor…a man. When I grow up, I want to be like my dad.

I’m fortunate that I will see my father every day when I look in the mirror. I’m blessed that I will be reunited with him every time I receive the Lord’s Supper with him, where we gather “with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven.” And I am looking forward to the Day when we will be forever reunited in the resurrection of all flesh. 

As he delighted to sing in the words of his favorite hymn:

Children of God,

Dying and rising,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

Heaven and earth,

Hosts everlasting,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

He has done marvelous things.  

I too will praise Him with a new song!