Lyrics: Daddy

It’s been over a week now since Dad died. We’ve had the service and the get-togethers. I’m back in Southern Illinois now, back to work. I miss him, but I’ve missed him a lot over the past few years, with Covid making travel a troublesome proposition. It almost doesn’t feel real, as if the phone is going to ring and he’s going to ask me about my day. 

I haven’t lost it yet. Maybe I won’t lose it. I mean, I know he’s at rest. I know he’s no longer in pain. I know that he died in the faith. So maybe I won’t break down over this. Maybe I’ve already reached acceptance. And maybe I’m full of…it, and the damn will burst at the most inopportune time. 

Yeah, that’s far more likely.

A while back, after listening to “Like a River” by Carly Simon—her tribute to her deceased mother—I wrote something I’d intended to be a song. I even have a melody in mind, though God knows I don’t have the instrumental ability to ever fully set it to music. Dad wasn’t dead when I wrote it; he wasn’t even seriously ill, though he had no longer had the vitality he once did. The thing is, he knew I loved him. He knew how important a place he held in my life. Still, having buried people important to me, I didn’t know if I’d get the chance to say the things I wanted to say to him before the end. As it happens, I think having written these words helped me to accept what was before my eyes as I watched my father breathe his last in the hospital. It was as if things had come full circle. I think you’ll see what I mean. But the last few lines were all but prophetic. 

I share it here to honor him, to share my love for him. It’s called “Daddy.”

Daddy

The lights are off and I'm in bed. 

The wheels are spinning in my head.

I know it's late. I should be counting sheep. 

Although you've been at work all day,

You kneel beside my bed and pray

And read to me until I fall asleep. 

Oh, Daddy, just one more!

I love you! Stay and read to me!

I love these stolen moments in the night. 

Can you believe it? She said yes!

She's stunning in her veil and dress. 

I'm shaking as she's walking down the aisle. 

You stand with me as my Best Man. 

You pat my shoulder with your hand 

And calm my anxious thoughts with just a smile.

Look, Daddy! There she is!

And thanks, old man, for teaching me

To be a husband worthy of my bride

I watch you as you're lying there. 

I sit nearby and stroke your hair. 

They say your pain is just about to end. 

I know the rest that waits for you--

"Well done, thou servant faithful, true"--

But how to say goodbye to my best friend?

Oh, Daddy, please, don't go! 

I love you! Stay! I need you still! 

I'll stay with you until you fall asleep. 

(c) 2022