HYMN: With Angels and Archangels

Pain, suffering, and loss often drive the creative process. While I do not recommend losing one’s child to aid the production of art, it certainly sharpened my focus last night as I tried (and failed) to go to sleep for quite some time. With very little editing, I wrote four of the stanzas of this text, which was inspired by the Proper Preface in the Communion liturgy, in which we confess we join our song with that of “angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven.” 

I wrote this in memory of my beloved Michael, who has himself joined the company of heaven.

With Angels and Archangels

In Loving Memory of Michael Alan Kornacki

1. With angels and archangels,

They gather ‘round the throne:

The company of heaven,

Whom God claims as His own.

They sing the hymn of triumph

To Christ, the Savior true,

Who died and rose victorious

That man would live anew. 

2. The saints, the dear departed,

Now rest, their labors done.

These servants, true and faithful,

Whose race in life is won,

Receive their crowns from Jesus,

For with their final breath,

They made the good confession,

Yes, even unto death. 

3. The Patriarchs and martyrs,

Apostles, prophets, kings:

They praise the Lamb forever.

Their hymn of glory rings!

They long to hear the trumpet,

To rise to life again,

To live with Christ forever

In His eternal reign. 

4. The day is surely coming.

Our Christ is coming soon!

With eager expectation,

On Him we now commune. 

This holy host of heaven

Shall join us at the rail

With Christ, our risen Savior,

Our peace in death’s dark vale. 

Δ 5. We glorify you, Father.

Lord Jesus, endless praise.

O Spirit blest, the Helper,

Be worshiped all our days. 

Like those who went before us,

We sing Christ’s victory

And pray for faith unshrinking

Until we rise, set free!

76 76 D

Temporary Tune: ELLACOMBE (LSB 906)

All Saints; Sacrament of the Altar; Funeral

+ Michael Alan Kornacki +

 “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; 
Blessed be the name of the Lord.” 

My son is dead.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had to produce a harder sentence in my life. One sentence, four words, and yet the ramifications of those words have irrevocably altered my life and that of my family. 

Michael was, in a very real sense, the center of our lives. We all understood that his needs would affect us all, and we all accepted that sacrifice with varied amounts of grace and patience—me least of all. He could be a handful, and sometimes more than one. And yet, nobody loved the way Buggy loved. His all-too-rare smile was beautiful, even more so for its rarity. His cuddles and hugs were a gift from God Himself. He had this deep little laugh that never failed to bring an echo from me. He never said much, his words swallowed by his autism, but he was always able to make us know what he felt and what he needed. He was a beautiful boy, and my life won’t shine as brightly without him. 

Michael is a baptized child of God. It was my privilege and everlasting joy to be the one who dunked the little sinner. There is very little that can give me real comfort right now, but what I do have is promise of Jesus through the Apostle Paul: “…According to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:5-7). Furthermore, as Paul wrote to the Romans (6:3-5), “Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection…” Michael was marked with the name of the Triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. He was marked with the sign of the cross. I don’t have to worry that Michael has done enough to merit eternal life. Michael’s eternal life doesn’t depend on Michael; it depends on Jesus for Michael; my eternal life depends on Jesus for me; your eternal life depends on Jesus for you. “The promise is for you and your children,” St. Peter writes, and I am clinging to that baptismal promise right now with all the strength I possess…and when that strength inevitably and repeatedly fails, my Lord Jesus is clinging to me with strength that cannot fail.

My son—my sweetest boy, my beautiful Buggy—is dead. My heart is broken, and it won’t ever fully heal in this vale of tears. But I do not grieve as do those who have no hope. I know that Michael has received his holy rest from the Lord. I know that he will be raised on the Last Day, no longer in a body that betrays him, no longer with a voice stilled all too effectively by autism. I know that Michael’s Redeemer—my Redeemer—lives. I know that I am reunited with my son every time we receive the body and blood of Jesus “…with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven…” and I know that we will be eternally reunited when the Lord calls me to my own rest. For now, he rests with his PopPop, PawPaw, and all those we love who have gone before us in the one true Faith. He rests with his Jesus.

Michael was a wonderful gift from God for me, for Faith, for Alexis and Molly, his twin, and for all of us who were blessed to be part of his life and to have him as part of their lives. God is good, even now, and I wouldn’t trade the life we’ve had with Buggy for anything, even knowing what we know now, even grieving as we grieve now. There’s a beautiful hymn by possibly the preeminent hymn writer of all time, Paul Gerhardt, called “Why Should Cross and Trial Grieve Me.” The third stanza reads as follows:

God gives me my days of gladness,
And I will
Trust Him still
When He send me sadness.
God is good; His love attends me
Day by day,
Come what may,
Guides me and defends me.

I am trusting God right now in the midst of this agonizing anguish. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief! God is good, and in the days ahead, in the midst of my grief, He will sustain me. He will give me joy. He will renew my soul. He will remind me of the joy I had in Michael, a joy I can carry with me for as long as I live.

For now, like King David after the death of his son, I will get up, wash myself, and go into the house of God to worship the One through whom Michael received life and will receive life again. As David confessed, “Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (‭‭II Samuel‬ ‭12:23‬). ‬I shall go to Michael in the Lord’s time. Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

Rest in peace, Buggy. I will always love you, and I will see you again soon.

Lyrics: Daddy

It’s been over a week now since Dad died. We’ve had the service and the get-togethers. I’m back in Southern Illinois now, back to work. I miss him, but I’ve missed him a lot over the past few years, with Covid making travel a troublesome proposition. It almost doesn’t feel real, as if the phone is going to ring and he’s going to ask me about my day. 

I haven’t lost it yet. Maybe I won’t lose it. I mean, I know he’s at rest. I know he’s no longer in pain. I know that he died in the faith. So maybe I won’t break down over this. Maybe I’ve already reached acceptance. And maybe I’m full of…it, and the damn will burst at the most inopportune time. 

Yeah, that’s far more likely.

A while back, after listening to “Like a River” by Carly Simon—her tribute to her deceased mother—I wrote something I’d intended to be a song. I even have a melody in mind, though God knows I don’t have the instrumental ability to ever fully set it to music. Dad wasn’t dead when I wrote it; he wasn’t even seriously ill, though he had no longer had the vitality he once did. The thing is, he knew I loved him. He knew how important a place he held in my life. Still, having buried people important to me, I didn’t know if I’d get the chance to say the things I wanted to say to him before the end. As it happens, I think having written these words helped me to accept what was before my eyes as I watched my father breathe his last in the hospital. It was as if things had come full circle. I think you’ll see what I mean. But the last few lines were all but prophetic. 

I share it here to honor him, to share my love for him. It’s called “Daddy.”

Daddy

The lights are off and I'm in bed. 

The wheels are spinning in my head.

I know it's late. I should be counting sheep. 

Although you've been at work all day,

You kneel beside my bed and pray

And read to me until I fall asleep. 

Oh, Daddy, just one more!

I love you! Stay and read to me!

I love these stolen moments in the night. 

Can you believe it? She said yes!

She's stunning in her veil and dress. 

I'm shaking as she's walking down the aisle. 

You stand with me as my Best Man. 

You pat my shoulder with your hand 

And calm my anxious thoughts with just a smile.

Look, Daddy! There she is!

And thanks, old man, for teaching me

To be a husband worthy of my bride

I watch you as you're lying there. 

I sit nearby and stroke your hair. 

They say your pain is just about to end. 

I know the rest that waits for you--

"Well done, thou servant faithful, true"--

But how to say goodbye to my best friend?

Oh, Daddy, please, don't go! 

I love you! Stay! I need you still! 

I'll stay with you until you fall asleep. 

(c) 2022

In Memoriam: Borrowed Words for Dad

He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives and I shall conquer death.

Dad’s funeral was today. My dad, Al Kornacki, died on Saturday, February 19. Of course it has been a difficult few days, between watching him struggle for each breath and then watching him take his last breath, planning his funeral, starting the process of going through his possessions, and then the finality of the funeral today. 

Whether or not you know who your father is, whatever kind of relationship you had with him—if, indeed, you had a relationship with him—you know what a father is; you have some idea of what a father should be to his children. I’ve had a father/son relationship with a number of men. I buried one of them in 2020, at the death of my vicarage bishop, Kim Scharff. At the time of his passing, I had many words to say to honor him; some of them might even have been eloquent. But for my biological father, the best man at my wedding? It’s too soon, maybe, and I’m too close. For my vicarage bishop, the kids had already lost their mother earlier in the year, and I was there to be the older brother none of them had growing up; that helped me keep some part of myself functional. For my own father? I don’t know what to say. 

Fortunately for me, a number of people have shared their memories of my father. He was a man who touched many in our community over a period of 60 years. He coached baseball teams for thirty years, from the time he was 16. He ran the Alternative Learning Center—in-school suspension, better known as “Al’s Little Corner”—for twenty years. He was in charge of the city’s Youth Center for decades. 

I like to joke that I have thousands of brothers and sisters, but in a very real sense, he was a surrogate father for a generation and more of North Tonawanda’s children. Whether it was on the website of his obituary, the family or recreation department Facebook posts announcing his death, or at the funeral home visitation, hundreds of people shared stories about how “Big Al” made a difference in their lives. He loved all the kids he worked with over the years, but he had a special place in his heart for the kids no one else seemed to want. In every aspect of his life, it was the troubled and trouble-making kids he seemed drawn to. So when I say I don’t have the words, I can borrow some from my many brothers and sisters. I hope they don’t mind.

• I wouldn’t be the man I am today without having met “Big Al.”
• Mr. Kornacki was a great man with a big heart and a great presence… When he spoke, we all listened!
• I remember him from school and the youth center... tough but very lovable...
• Al always took time out to learn more about each kid because he cared about everyone.  He'd pull you in his office and ask you how you are, how's your family, how is school going, etc.  He genuinely cared about people…
• He was there for me when my father passed when I was a kid. He always had the biggest heart!
• He was the guy we all went to when nobody else was around.
• Thanks for your patience when I needed it the most.
• Kids who didn't have much respect for adults or authority always seemed to treat Al as their confidant and someone who respected them. I was one of those kids back then. Al certainly helped me to see that I was on a path that could have been destructive. He never gave up and he was always positive and I and many other people owe him a debt of gratitude for his kindness.
• Thank you Al for believing in me and never giving up. I know I was a pain in the neck, but you saw and understood my struggle. I will forever be grateful for your kind heart and wisdom.

That’s the kind of man my dad was. Is. He affected every life he touched, and he tried to touch as many lives as possible. 

And that’s because of his faith in Jesus Christ. As Pastor Eder said at the funeral, “Al was a big man with a big faith.” My dad knew he was a beloved, baptized, forgiven child of God. His heavenly Father touched every aspect of his life. The love my dad received from God, he gave away to all his kids. And God just kept giving him more and more. That’s the kind of love I endeavor to share as a father, a husband, a pastor…a man. When I grow up, I want to be like my dad.

I’m fortunate that I will see my father every day when I look in the mirror. I’m blessed that I will be reunited with him every time I receive the Lord’s Supper with him, where we gather “with angels and archangels and with all the company of heaven.” And I am looking forward to the Day when we will be forever reunited in the resurrection of all flesh. 

As he delighted to sing in the words of his favorite hymn:

Children of God,

Dying and rising,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

Heaven and earth,

Hosts everlasting,

Sing to the Lord a new song!

He has done marvelous things.  

I too will praise Him with a new song!

Twenty Years a Steward of God’s Mysteries

June 18, 2000 was Father’s Day, and it started out right: with the 8am service at my home church, St. Mark Lutheran in North Tonawanda, New York. I was there with my parents and with Pastor Kim Scharff and his wife, Mary. Kim and Mary had left their seven children at home to be with me on one of the most important days of my life: the day I would be Ordained into the Office of the Holy Ministry. It was appropriate that my biological and spiritual fathers were both there. I learned from Alan and Kathy what it means to be a Christian; I learned from Kim and Mary what it means to be a pastor and serve God’s people in the Holy Ministry. (It was also one of the last times I would see my maternal grandparents.)

That afternoon we gathered again at St. Mark. A small group of pastors gathered together along with friends and family and members of St. Mark. This collection of saints had seen me grow from childhood, supported me when I was still studying to be a Lutheran high school English teacher, and had the misfortune of hearing the first sermon I wrote during college. Fortunately, I was a much better preacher by the time I was placed there for fieldwork during my final year at the seminary. 

Pastor Scharff preached the sermon—I’ll include it at the end of this post. Pastor Doellinger, who was serving St. Mark at the time, administered the Rite of Ordination. And then I took over, celebrating the Sacrament of the Altar for the first time as the Officiant. A little over a month later, I would be Installed in my first parish. But June 18, 2000 was the beginning.

I’ve been a pastor for 20 years as of today. I’m right around middle age for a pastor, and I can feel that in the aches in my body and the increased confidence I have in using the gifts God has given me to serve His people. There are many joys in being a pastor—baptizing newborns and adults, teaching young people the Christian faith, delivering God’s gifts to His people (this is not an exhaustive list)—and these are rich blessings from the Lord of the Church. Still, it is not an easy path. The four years and seven months I spent without a Call, not to mention the two years leading up to that, certainly attest to this reality. The trials of the Ministry can be heartbreaking, and that heartbreak wears on a man. I love what I do, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I wouldn’t mind if God were to help me to be able more fully to enjoy the wonders a little more often and to endure and focus less on the sadness. That I do not always live and serve this way is my failing, not His.

This anniversary is just a touch bittersweet. As I thought about this day over the past few months, I’d planned to call Pastor Scharff and thank him once again for sharing that day with me. I can’t make that call; Kim is no longer there to answer. The Lord has given him rest from his labors. But I learned from Kim to be a pastor, and I wouldn’t have made it to this day—or even to that day 20 years ago—without him. 

So...here’s to another twenty years. At least. To God alone be the glory.

____________________

Here’s the Ordination sermon preached by the Reverend Kim Scharff. How right and fitting that he should share his wisdom with me once again. This is just as relevant today as it was twenty years ago.

What is a Pastor? What Can He Give?

St. Luke 10:16 and Augsburg Confession V

In the name of the Father and of the Son (+) and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Ours is a cynical age. What do you mean, pastor? Do we even know what “cynical” means? The Oxford English Dictionary defines a “cynic” as “one who has little faith in human sincerity.” And so, again, ours is a cynical age. Isn’t it true that we tend to assume, as often as not, that people just aren’t being truthful with us? What do you think when a politician tells you something? Aren’t you just a bit skeptical about whether or not he is telling the truth? What about the newscaster who peers at you through the television monitor; don’t you wonder just a bit about whether or not he is telling you the whole story? I think it was Mark Twain who said that he did not believe anything he heard and only half of what he could see. That’s just healthy skepticism, some would say; a good thing. But, is it a good thing? Is it a good thing over against the things of God? Is it a good way to approach the Office of the Holy Ministry?

Just a little over a hundred and fifty years ago, our Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod was born in the midst of cynicism over against the Office of the Holy Ministry. If you are not aware of this fact, you really should do some reading on the early years of our Church; you will find it interesting and enlightening. Some have even questioned, justifiably in my judgment, whether or not we have ever really gotten over those particular birth pains of our church body. Is there cynicism out there in the Church now about the Office of the Holy Ministry?

The words of our Lord Jesus Christ, from St. Luke’s Gospel, address this issue straight on. “He who hears you hears Me…” --- What is a pastor? If we are going to avoid being cynical about the Office of the Ministry, then we need an answer to this question. How does Jesus answer it? “He who hears you, hears Me…” The Office of the Holy Ministry is the voice of Jesus Christ in His Church. A pastor is the man God has put in His Church for the specific purpose of carrying out these words of our Lord: “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you…” (St. Matthew 28:18,19)

When our pastor faithfully speaks God’s Word to us, we are hearing the voice of Jesus. When he baptizes and offers us the body and blood of the Lord, his hands are the hands of Jesus. When he hears our confession and speaks the words of absolution to us, it is the voice of Jesus that we are hearing. Now, some would suggest that this is being a bit presumptuous. Jesus faced the same criticism when He told the paralytic not only to rise and go home, but that his sins were forgiven. They said of Him: “Why does this man speak thus? It is blasphemy. Who can forgive sins but God alone?” (St. Mark 2:7) St. Matthew offers this commentary: “When the crowds saw it they were afraid, and they glorified God who had given such authority to men.” (St. Matthew 9:8)

But, again, some would say that this is rather presumptuous. And yet, isn’t this precisely what we believe and confess? Listen to the Small Catechism on this matter: “I believe that when the called ministers of Christ deal with us by His divine command, especially when they exclude manifest and impenitent sinners from the Christian congregation, and, again, when they absolve those who repent of their sins and are willing to amend, this is as valid and certain, in heaven also, as if Christ, our dear Lord, dealt with us Himself.” --- Admittedly, this is a position that gives some people trouble. If a pastor is merely a “man among men,” then what he says and does carries no more weight than anyone else; it is only his opinion in the midst of many other opinions that bear equal significance. But, if the pastor is the voice of Jesus Christ; if he truly is the one God has put there to forgive the sins of the penitent and to retain the sins of the impenitent; if he is the one who is there to speak God’s words of life and hope; if he is, in fact, the one whom God has given to feed His people with the blessed Word and Sacraments, then we dare not take a cynical attitude toward what he says and does. “He who hears you hears Me, and he who rejects you rejects Me, and he who rejects Me rejects Him who sent Me.” This is what is at stake in our view of the Office of the Holy Ministry.

Now, you may say: “But isn’t it true, pastor, that there are some who abuse the Office of the Ministry by their teaching and by their actions?” Of course, that is true, and those who would abuse the Office of Jesus Christ in such ways are not fit for the office and should not hold it. Indeed, they should be removed from it, if necessary. But, at the same time, we need to be very careful that we do not cynically assume that every pastor will do this, if given the chance. Faithful pastors are a great blessing from God, and we can never honor that office highly enough because it has been given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ, out of His love and mercy toward His Church.

So, this is what a pastor is. But, there is another question, of equal significance, for which we need an answer if we are to avoid being cynical towards the Office of the Holy Ministry. What can a pastor give? The Augsburg Confession, which we believe to be a faithful exposition of the teaching of Holy Scripture, says: “In order that such faith may be obtained, God has instituted the Office of the Ministry, for the preaching of the Gospel and administering of the Sacraments. Through these, as through means, He gives the Holy Spirit, who works faith, when and where He pleases, in those who hear the Gospel…” --- I remember one of my seminary professors telling us that the preaching and teaching of God’s Word and administering the Holy Sacraments, is a full time, and more than a full time, vocation. Any pastor, He said, who does this work faithfully and fully will have neither time nor inclination to do much of anything else. After nearly two decades in the ministry, I think I am beginning to understand what he meant, and it goes right to the heart of what we are discussing. --- The Lord of the Church very carefully prescribes what a pastor can give. And I use the word “prescribe” purposely, because there are limits that have been set. Creating and sustaining faith is the “business”, if you will, of the Office of the Ministry. “In order that such faith may be obtained…,” the confession says.

What do we expect of our pastors? What expectations will the members of St. Paul and St. Peter have of Pastor Kornacki? If our expectations fall beyond the boundaries of Word and Sacrament, then they are expectations we really should not have. I am not speaking here about questions of morality and ethics; that is an issue unto itself. I am talking about the work of a pastor. It is not the work of pastors to try and solve all the world’s problems, though it is their task to apply the healing balm of the Gospel to the problems of the heart and soul. It is not the work of pastors to build the communities in which they live into little “divine fortresses,” though it certainly is their work to build up those committed to their care that they might, in turn, bear a righteous witness among the neighbors. It is not the work of pastors to “fatten” the church’s bank account, though it surely is their work to hold before the people of God that wonderful generosity of the Father in heaven, who not only provides all that we need to support our bodies and lives, but who also gave His own dear Son into suffering and death as the sacrifice for our sins; the price of our redemption. --- “In order that such faith may be obtained, God has instituted the Office of the Ministry, for the preaching of the Gospel and administering of the Sacraments…” That is all, but, surely, that is enough! It is enough because, in the end, it is all we really need. It is enough because, in His wisdom, this is the boundary that God Himself has set for this office He intends to bless.

In the eyes of the world, the Church is a strange enterprise. The same can be said for the Office of the Holy Ministry. Success and validity in this world are measured by what and how much you produce. What do you have to show for what you are doing? What’s your “bottom line?” Or, to put a more “religious” cast on it, how many new members did you gain last year? How many converts have you had in the last five years? When that is the standard by which both Church and Ministry are measured, we will, most often, to quote (or should it be misquote) the prophet Daniel, be “weighed in the balance, and found wanting.” But, what if someone had come to Jesus after His “Bread of Life” sermon in John 6 and asked Him about how His following had grown? What could He have said? His followers were leaving Him like rats leaving a sinking ship. Only twelve remained, and, no doubt, some of them were weighing their options. And yet, that may be precisely what happens when the Church and the Ministry are saying and doing what God has given them to say and do.

The Kingdom of God is hidden; it is hidden behind the cross of Christ. May we never forget that the blessed Gospel, which we hold so dear, and to which we cling with all our might is, at the same time, the greatest offense the world has ever known. It insists that as man is helpless, so God reigns supreme. As man can do nothing to save himself, so God can and has and will do everything. And therein lies the cynicism of the world over against what you and I, as pastors and as the people of God, believe and do. We walk by faith, not by sight, and that is something which a cynic, whether inside or outside the church, can never accept. --- And yet, this is just what moves us to rejoice on this day! We give ourselves over into the hands of God, convinced of His love for us and His intention to bless us. As the Church, we rejoice that the Church’s Lord has called and now sends another man to serve in His holy office. And you, brother, rejoice in that same certainty that it is the call of the Lord of the Church that you have heard and now will answer. The time has come to lay aside whatever doubts and fears we may have. The God of all grace lives and reigns forever and ever. He gives His people faith in His lovingkindess and tender mercy. And He places into the hands and hearts and voices of His pastors the Word of life. “He who hears you hears Me,” to which we joyfully give answer, “Thanks be to God!” In the name of the Father and of the Son (+) and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

Called and Installed: A New Adventure

For my 700th blog post(!!!), I decided I'd go big—so big, in fact, that it takes a second church building and congregation for me to make it happen. Earlier in 2016, Pastor Mark Buetow, who had been serving at Bethel Lutheran Church in Du Quoin, Illinois, received a Call to serve a congregation a little ways outside Chicago. His acceptance of that call (the traitor! *wink*) led the members of the Bethel congregation to consider their future. And after much consideration, they decided to contact my congregation, St. Peter Lutheran Church in Campbell Hill, Illinois. The members of Bethel asked the members of St. Peter to consider joining them in a dual parish arrangement. This meant, among other things, that they would share me as their pastor.

In July, after more consideration and prayer, not to mention a number of meetings full of questions and compromises to hash out details, both congregations voted overwhelmingly to join together as a dual parish. For various reasons, the agreement would not take effect until January 1, 2017. However, I would serve Bethel as their vacancy pastor until that time. I would have to be officially Installed as the pastor of the dual parish, and, having already been Installed at St. Peter in May of 2010, we made the decision to have the dual parish Installation at Bethel. I asked to have it the weekend after Thanksgiving so my parents could attend, since they had already planned to come for Thanksgiving.

So we went ahead with the Installation on the 27th of November. The Reverend President Timothy Scharr of the Southern Illinois District officiated at the Installation. Pastor Kirk Clayton of Zion Lutheran Church in Mascoutah was the preacher, and his sermon brought together the names of the two congregations. (I can't post the text of his sermon, since he preaches from an outline, but you can download the audio of his sermon here.) Pastor Peter Ill of Trinity Lutheran Church in Millstadt was the liturgist. A number of area pastors participated in the laying-on/holy-hover-of-hands. And then, after the Installation, most of us drove from Bethel to St. Peter, where the ladies of both congregations (and a few men, for that matter) put together an impressive meal.

For many of the members, this was their first interaction with members of their new sister congregation. Everything I'd hoped for—love, cooperation, and a joyful spirit—came together on that day. Campbell Hill and Du Quoin may be about 25 miles apart, but the love of Christ has a way of bringing people together, no matter how far apart they may live and worship.

This will change things for all of us. Both congregations are used to having their own pastor; they now share me. Both congregations originally met for Divine Service at 10am; St. Peter now meets at 9am and Bethel at 10:45am. Bethel was used to having the pastor at their preschool every day; now he's only there two days each week. There are others. Many others. Our task going forward together is to do our best to make the arrangement work. I don't think that will be a problem.

And things have changed for the Kornacki family, too. After leaving North Dakota, I said I'd never serve a dual parish again. After writing a book which could be seen as critical of Synod, I also said I'd never receive another Call. If you want to make the Lord laugh, tell Him your plans or say "never." I'm once again taking care of two congregations, which means I have more shut-in and hospital visits, more meetings, more responsibilities, and more time away from my family. It also means I get to work with two youth groups, two church councils, two wonderful organists, and a bunch of preschool kids. I also have a second set of bookshelves, which means I can buy more books! We were able to purchase a new vehicle, which, honestly, we needed. The Lord continues to provide for my family, just as He continues to provide for the two congregations it is now my privilege to serve.

Thank you to everyone who made the day so special! I'll leave you with the picture of the pastors at my Installation. What a seedy-looking bunch of characters!

Left to right: Rev. Timothy Scharr, Rev. Peter Ill, Rev. Kirk Clayton, me, Rev. James Leistico, Rev. Chris Agne, Rev. Timothy Landskroener (also known as OP: Old Pastor), and Rev. Timothy Sims.

Laryngitis for Laughs

Want to hear what I sound like when I lead the liturgy with laryngitis?

RIGHT-CLICK HERE!

LUTHERAN PURGATORY BOOK now available!

As most of you probably know—and by now you've probably heard me talk about it to the point that you're ready to beat your head (or mine) against a brick wall—I was a pastor without a congregation for over four and a half years. It was a horrible time in the life of my family, and I thank God every day that it's over. I've written a booklet about that experience, and I also share the experiences of other pastors who have experienced similar circumstances in their life. On any given day, we have over 200 of these pastors, and a number of these brothers in Christ have graciously shared with me the horrible conditions in which they and their families now live. God continues to be gracious and provide for His children. Now we, too, must show compassion to them in their need.

Lutheran Purgatory: Pastors Without Calls takes us through the whole story: how pastors become Candidates (which is another name for pastors without congregations), what happens right after they lose their positions, the day to day struggles they face with their families, and the long and hard road they face to return to parish ministry. We also see the difficulties they face once they do return to parish ministry—for the scars remain. Finally, I offer suggestions for steps the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod can take to minimize the problem. 

I don't plan on making any money off of this project. I wrote this to help educate our pastors and laypeople about this issue. I will offer a free .pdf download of this document, but any money that comes in to me (after Amazon takes their part of the royalties after expenses) from those who buy this book will be donated to an entity which aids such pastors: possibly the Augustana Ministerium, which has handed out over $172,000 in aid directly to pastors and their families in their need; or possibly Soldiers of the Cross, a program of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod which works through district offices to provide for pastors in need. 

FROM THE AMAZON WEBSITE: "The Office of the Holy Ministry within the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod is in crisis. It is under attack from pastors who act like corporate executives and arrogant overlords, from bureaucrats who believe a pastor is a failure if he doesn't act like a corporate executive or a used car salesman, and from congregations who believe pastors are merely employees to be hired, evaluated, and fired. Too many pastors have fallen prey to these attitudes and the actions which follow. We call them Candidates, but these men and their families are our brothers and sisters in Christ, and they are suffering. These Candidates, pastors without congregations, suffer in the closest thing Lutherans have to purgatory. These are their stories. Lord willing, we can end their suffering."

To purchase a Kindle copy of this book for $2.99 (and each copy purchased will bring in $1 for charity), click this link: KINDLE EDITION OF LUTHERAN PURGATORY! Amazon Prime members can also borrow this document for free, and Amazon will give me a small royalty which will go directly to charity.

To purchase a print edition of this book for $4.99 through Amazon (and each copy purchased will bring in $0.84 for charity), click this link: PRINT EDITION OF LUTHERAN PURGATORY!

To purchase a print edition of this book for $4.99 through CreateSpace (and each copy purchased will bring in $1.84 for charity), click this link: PRINT EDITION OF LUTHERAN PURGATORY!

To download a FREE .pdf file of this book, which I offer so that money isn't a deterrent in the spread of this important information, click this link: DOWNLOAD FREE PDF OF LUTHERAN PURGATORY!

Please share a link to this blog post with as many of your friends and congregation members as possible! We need to get this information out! And please pray for these pastors and their families.

Thank you for your time and consideration.



EDITED TO ADD: 

GOOD REVIEWS FOR "LUTHERAN PURGATORY"

It's been just under two months since I released Lutheran Purgatory: Pastors Without Calls, and the response has been amazing! I have no way of tracking how may people may have downloaded the free PDF file. However, despite the fact that the book is available for free as a PDF file, over one-hundred people have paid for either Kindle or print versions. That means I will be able to donate over $200 dollars to aid pastors without congregations. That amount is a mere drop in the ocean of what is needed to help these pastors as they await the repair of this broken system, but even a drop can make a difference! I would like to thank everyone who has downloaded or purchased this book. I apologize for any typos or proofreading errors you may find. That's a danger of self-publishing, of course. As I find these errors (or as others point them out to me--hopefully gently), I will fix them in the Kindle edition and in subsequent print editions. I also hope to update the book in time. More pastors have shared their tales with me, and readers have shared questions or concerns about what I've written.

In the meantime, I have heard a lot of good things from readers who have shared their responses with me. You can see some responses on my Amazon author's page. In addition to these, I have seen responses on independent blogs and on Facebook, and I would like to share some of those with you, especially if you're wondering if this is worth reading.

"Stop whatever you are doing and READ THIS BOOK. Just remember, once you've read it, you can't unread it." -- Rev. Todd Wilken, host of Issues, Etc.

"This is non-fiction--scary non-fiction. ...We commend this for your reading, edification, and action, as the 2013 LCMS Convention acted in care and loving concern for pastors without a call." -- Rev. Paul Cain, host of the Liturgy, Hymnody, and Pulpit Quarterly Book Review blog

"This book should not only be required reading for members of the synod’s candidate committee. It should be read and placed on the agenda of the Council of Presidents. Pastors should make sure their DP’s have a copy. Ask them to discuss it with other District Presidents. Then follow up after COP meetings and see if they did so. Everything he says about what a pastor goes through is true." -- Rev. Lincoln Winter, host of the Musings of a Country Parson blog"

"Pastor Kornacki accurately describes the 'heavy, pressing emotions' (my description) that accompany these statuses. He accurately describes the inability to pray, to worship, and to otherwise participate in the life of the church. People who have 'been there' need to know they are not alone; and their feelings and responses are common with others. Members of the LCMS Council of Presidents and the Resolution 3-10a Task Force all need to buy the book and put it in their library. They have no excuse, because they can even get it for free to put on their laptops, or in PDF on their smart phone.They need to read this book carefully and then ask, 'How could this be happening to our own people? What is wrong here?' Because some of the cases cited describe improper actions by the District Presidents. Or in some cases, the actions are clearly unjust, even when the District President followed the Sohns 'Divine Dismissal' document. This book will open eyes to real problems to which many are clueless." -- Rev. Martin Noland, former Director of the Concordia Historical Institute, former Candidate

I hope that, should you read it or if you already have read it, you will send me your comments, questions, and concerns. Also, please keep praying for our pastors and their families who are mired in Lutheran Purgatory.

Thank you!

A CRM Appeal

My name is Alan Kornacki, and I am a parish pastor. That doesn’t sound like a very profound statement. However, though I was Ordained into the Office of the Holy Ministry in June of 2000 and have been pastor for over thirteen years now, for over four and a half years, I was not a parish pastor. In the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod, this is often called “CRM,” an acronym from Candidatus Reverendi Ministerii—translated as Candidate for the Holy Ministry. In other words, I was a pastor without a congregation to serve.

You can read the full details of the circumstances that led me to Candidate Status on my blog if you’re interested, but there are two highly relevant details in the matter. The first is that the Board of Elders felt justified in asking for my resignation (and in threatening me if I didn’t resign willingly) even though I did not commit one of the “big three”—gross and/or unrepentant sin, false doctrine, or an inability to perform the functions of the Office—that usually merits a pastor being removed from a Call. In addition, I did not violate confidentiality or the Seal of the Confessional. The Scriptural grounds for my forced resignation were sketchy at best. Second, my District President (DP) felt justified in placing me on Restricted Status pending an investigation as to whether or not I should be removed from the clergy roster—meaning I could not consider or accept a Call to another congregation or serve in any pastoral capacity in any congregation other than the one which I was Called to serve until he decided whether or not I could still be a pastor. I had to ask permission to baptize my own children. For ten months I was on Restricted Status—unable to consider Calls to serve congregations, unable to even fill in for a vacationing pastor—because I kept a blog. Again, I was not guilty (or even accused) of committing one of the “big three,” nor did I violate confidentiality or the Seal of the Confessional, yet for ten months I was Restricted.

While I was on Restricted Status, the DP threatened me with the possibility of suspension and even removal from the clergy roster of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod. In December of 2005 he promised to remove me from Restricted Status as soon as I completed paperwork he was sending to me, but he did not remove me until August of 2006, though I returned the paperwork immediately. He wanted me to see a specialized counselor (affiliated with the ELCA) to assess my suitability for the Ministry, and he made this a condition of my removal from Restricted status. In his assessment of me to be shared with the specialized counselor he provided a list of concerns, and in that list of "concerns" he included the fact that I am "very conservative theologically". Finally, he warned me not to speak to other pastors who were on CRM, and he also warned me away from “rigid and ultra-conservative pastors, who do not have good relational skills.”

When I was forced to leave my congregation, my wife was thirty-two weeks pregnant with twins. We were told to be out of the parsonage in four weeks. Having nowhere else to go, we along with our seven year-old daughter moved from Ohio to southern Louisiana, into housing provided by a family member. This was right after Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast, and the job market within an hour of where we were living was glutted with workers. For the first year I couldn’t even get a McDonald’s job. I applied for every job available, even ones for which I had no qualifications. Our twin children, delivered a month early, were mostly healthy other than the older twin's jaundice. However, the delivery, a c-section, caused painful physical issues for my wife, and emotional issues also arose for her after the birth of the twins. Needless to say, she wasn't able to work. What savings we had were depleted by the time I was finally able to find work, which happened a year to the day after my forced resignation, and our credit took a major hit. My DP, to be fair, did send some financial assistance in that first year, but inevitably it was accompanied by the command to "find some menial job" and the encouraging word that the district was "under no obligation" to aid my return to parish ministry.

Though finally employed, I still desired to return to parish ministry. Even after my removal from Restricted Status (after jumping through a number of hoops, including a clean bill of ministerial health from the ELCA counselors), first the DP who had placed me on Restricted Status, then the DP who replaced him when he retired, and then finally the DP who served in our new location did little to bring me relief during my time outside the parish. They didn't call to check up on me or pray with me. They did little to reassure me about my status on the clergy roster. Were it not for brother pastors—the "rigid" men the DP warned me against—I would have lost any and all hope of returning to the parish. As for the DPs, I *did* receive cards from the district office on the anniversaries of my Ordination. That's something, anyway.

These brothers against whom I was warned were also instrumental in keeping me emotionally functional and spiritually healthy. They called to check up on me—and my wife!—and to pray for us. They asked me to fill in for them when they went on vacation and even manufactured preaching opportunities for me at times. They made sure I received the Lord's Supper and offered themselves for Confession and Absolution. They listened when I complained, kicked me in the seat of the pants when I needed it, and encouraged me at all times to entrust my burdens to the Lord.

As time went on, the stress of the situation mounted. For me, weekends were hard times. Though it was good for me to be with my family, Sunday mornings in particular found me withdrawn. My wife finally had to point out to me that it felt to her like I was abandoning the family at times. And dealing with a withdrawn husband and father—who tended to be grumpy when he was around—was tough on my family.

Finally, after nearly four and a half years, my current congregation extended the Call to me to serve as their pastor. This was not the work of DPs. The congregation asked their outgoing pastor and the vacancy pastor for names of pastors they knew and trusted, and my name was among those they shared. My Installation—four years, seven months and four days after my forced resignation—was for my family a day of great joy.

Yet the scars remain. For me, meetings are still times of great stress. I start tensing up before a meeting, and it takes an hour after the meeting for me to loosen up. I second-guess decisions frequently.  Though my current congregation has had little negative to say about me, there's still a little something in me that can't help but worry that every meeting will have an ambush. I still wrestle with the shame and anger and frustration of those four years all the time. (Thank God for Individual Confession and Absolution!)  I escaped with little in the way of depression, and though I admit there were times when I thought my family might be better off without me, suicide was never more than a passing thought.

For me and for my wife, criticisms are still unnaturally hard to handle. "Is this the first sign of trouble?" "Is this the beginning of the end?" Again, my current congregation has never given even the slightest hint of seeking our removal, yet that seed of doubt that was planted nearly eight years ago and which was allowed to grow into poison ivy with little resistance for over four years is so hard to eradicate. It took a long time for my wife—raised in the Roman church—to see Lutherans in a positive light after seeing how we were treated, though the pastors and congregations in Louisiana who showed great love to us certainly did their part to help her see the positives.

As far as finances go, I doubt we'll ever fully recover from the damage of that year without work—especially not with the student loans accrued by attending one if the colleges of the Concordia University System instead of a more reasonably-priced state school. Maybe I'll write that bestseller someday.

I know that's a lot to take in. Believe me when I say I know. I don't share all that to garner pity for me and mine. We're actually one of the rare CRM success stories, such as it is. We're among the fortunate ones who have returned to the parish. I know pastors who have languished for a decade or more without a sniff at a return to the parish. That's why this issue is so near and dear to my heart. There are a lot of hurting pastors out there, a lot of hurting pastors' wives and pastors' kids. Most of them receive little in the way of comfort or support from their DPs, much less any hope for a return to the parish. Some of them are dealing with physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or financial difficulties—and some are dealing with all of those afflictions at the same time.

Our church body is talking a lot right now about "witness," "mercy," and "life together." One of the marks of the early church was the love these Christians showed for their fellows, and this was evident even to their enemies. "See how they love," one said. Their mercy in their life together was a witness to the world.

Well, these CRM men and their families could use some mercy. Some of them need a fair, impartial, and judiciously speedy hearing to settle their status on or off the roster, along with an appeal process that doesn’t involve appealing to the man who made the initial ruling.  (And yes, some men may need time on CRM to help them deal with real issues they face, but some are just the victims of bad financial circumstances, for example, or congregations who had itching ears.) Some of them need help with rent or groceries or medical bills. Some of them need a counselor to help them deal with the stress and shame they face while on CRM. Some may need some help even after returning to the parish to deal with PTSD.

This is something the LCMS needs to address, and quickly! There is a resolution being brought before the 2013 Synodical Convention to address the situation of Candidates…at the 2016 Synodical Convention, after a task force is formed to study the problem. While I’m glad that the Convention plans to take up this issue in some capacity, waiting three years to deal with the meat of this tragedy is a wait three years too long. A task force might be able to come up with ideas for, say, a fair adjudication system or a fair way to address a way to return over two-hundred Candidates to active ministry while not failing our seminary graduates, but we don’t need a task force to commit to contacting these wounded men to pray with them and ask what kind of help they need. We don’t need a task force to set up a fund to help address the financial difficulties these men and their families face. We don’t need a task force to encourage our DPs to bring to bear the love of Christ to these men instead of treating them like proverbial lepers, tax collectors and Gentiles. We don’t need a task force to commit to sending these pastors to Doxology or to ask Doxology to develop a program under their purview for the purpose of addressing the mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of these pastors and their families. Perhaps a friendly amendment to the appropriate resolution might be drafted to speak to some of these needs immediately.

While we wait for Synod in Convention to do something, Pastor Ken Kelly is spearheading an effort to help CRM men and their families. Among other things, he is trying to raise funds to address the financial needs of CRM families. He is selling t-shirts and pins with artwork that reminds us of the plight of these pastors, and any money raised beyond the cost of producing these items goes into a fund to help these families. He is not collecting any administrative costs for himself. Here is a link to the page: THE LEAST OF THESE

In addition, the Augustana Ministerium, an organization of Lutheran pastors, along with its lay counterpart, the Augustana Confraternity, has been allotting a portion of their membership fees to helping pastors and families in need. You can find their page here: THE AUGUSTANA MINISTERIUM

Finally, you can help these men and their families without spending a dime. Commit to praying for pastors who need calls and the families who support and depend on these men. Commit to praying for the congregations who need pastors. Commit to praying for faithful pastors and congregations who will love each other with Christ’s love.

These men and their families need your support and prayers. They are lying on the side of the road—bruised, bleeding, broken—and we have the means of picking them up and helping them. They, too, should receive mercy, so our life together may be a witness to the world.