PARODY: Hallelujah

It’s everywhere. You can’t get away from it. Every artist covers it. Ever occasion merits a rewrite of it.

The “it” of which I speak is Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” It’s been covered over 300 times. It’s been rewritten for everything from weddings to school cancellations. When I discovered that last this evening, it pushed me over the edge. In about 20 minutes I put together my own rewrite. Enjoy.

Hallelujah: The Parody

Way back in nineteen-eighty-four

Ol’ Leonard Cohen wrote this score.

You know the song I’m referencing, do ya?

At first it didn’t blaze the charts,

But after Shrek, it captured hearts.

Now everybody raves of “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

It’s really not a Christian song.

It’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong,

But you should know that Cohen was a Jew, yeah.

Some lyrics are quite biblical

(Though never citing Gabriel).

He even writes the Hebrew “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

Like much of Leonard Cohen’s work,

The song is full of poetic quirk.

The power of his words just runs right through ya.

The chord progression cleverly

Aligns with Cohen’s lyrics, see,

When speaking of King David’s Hallelujah.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

These days, the song’s so overdone.

It’s covered now by everyone.

You sing it, and it’s hard to listen to ya.

And when one has a favored cause,

One writes new words without a pause

And makes sure this line ends with “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

But that’s okay, ‘cause no one knows

What Cohen meant. And boy, it shows.

Not even he himself knew what was true, yeah.

I guess we’ll just put up with it,

Although it irks me just a bit

When every half-blown hack sings “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

Well, soon I’ll end this parody. 

I’m sure that some are mad at me

For pointing out how much it makes me stew, yeah,

To hear this song so poorly done

And botched by almost everyone

Who sings or plays or rewrites “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

Perhaps someday—I hope it’s soon—

Well give a break to this lovely tune. 

We’ll learn to write our own songs. That sounds cool, yeah. 

Then, down the line, some music geek

Will rediscover Cohen chic. 

He won’t be sick and tired of “Hallelujah.”

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. 

(c) 1984, 2019, Leonard Cohen, Alan Kornacki, Jr.