PARODY: The Easter Breakfast

Sunday was a very good day for me at St. Peter Lutheran Church in Campbell Hill, Illinois.  For the first time in . . . eight years, possibly, I preached on Easter Sunday at the church where I was the pastor.  I have a wonderful congregation, and it is a blessing and a privilege to serve here. I received the body and blood of Jesus.  I got to hang out with my youth group.  And, as the fat guy in my can attest, I got to eat.

That being said, 3:40am rolled around mighty early on Sunday.  That's when I had to get up to get ready and head to the church to help prepare for the Easter breakfast.  I didn't have to help too much--which is good, because I really didn't--but getting up that early, especially after the Terrible Trouble Twins kept me up nearly to midnight, was not easy.

When I got home, I tried taking a nap, but I didn't get much of one.  While I was attempting to nap, the first verse of the following parody jumped into my head, and I managed to get it written down.  Don't worry: I love the Easter breakfast, and I love the youth group that served it.  I just can't help myself, though, when it comes to parody.  And so, to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence", I give you:

The Easter Breakfast

Hello, mattress, my old friend.
I've come to lay on you again.
I had to get up much too early
And now I find myself very sleepy.
Now my pillow is where I will lay my head
On My bed
Because of Easter breakfast.

As this day ends in darkness deep
My own kids won't let me sleep.
Michael's playing Bejeweled Blitz.
Molly's in the throes of sugar fits
From the candy that the Easter bunny shared.
Damn that hare!
Serve him for Easter breakfast.

Fools say, "That's what you deserve.
Next time just cook Brown and Serve."
But the menu doesn't matter.
Even using pre-mixed batter
We would still wake up at a most ungodly time.
What a crime
To wake for Easter breakfast.

And Kornacki starts to fade.
Who cares if the bed is made?
I'll just fall asleep there anyway.
It's the end of this endless day.
And the clock says that I should have been asleep long ago.
But I know
Next year we'll have Easter breakfast.


(c) Alan Kornacki, Jr.