Our List
(Parody of “My List” by Toby Keith)
Under a spyglass paperweight
Is our list of those to watch today:
People we think are too hardcore,
People who think God loves them more.
We write their names down as we go,
But when the day is through,
There’s still a bunch we need to watch
That we ain’t got to:
Those who hate Fidel, Tea Party fans?
As bad as those who put bombs in cans.
Should we suspect those who own cats?
It’s time to take them down for that.
Those who want to build a wall
So “illegal immigrants” won’t call,
And vets returning home—they all look pissed.
Gun owners: they’re the next ones on our list.
It might change the course of things
If we can jail the whole right wing.
“Extremists” are quite dangerous,
‘Cause they’re not like the best of us.
We aren’t really confident
That they are fully wrong,
But we’d be safer, that’s for sure,
If we could get them gone.
Those who hate Fidel, Tea Party fans—
As bad as those who put bombs in cans.
Should we suspect those who own cats?
It’s time to take them down for that.
Those who want to build a wall
So “illegal immigrants” won’t call,
And those who don’t like watching gay folks kiss:
Them Christians: they’re the next ones on our list.
Pro-life nut-job whacks, blogging hacks,
Maybe even kids who won’t play jacks,
And Ron Paul fans—who likes that prat?
It’s time to take them down for that.
Watch their moves: who do they see?
And are they who they claim to be?
Surveillance for extremists we might miss.
Right wingers: they’re the next ones on our list.
Written by Alan Kornacki, Jr., and Toby Keith
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