PARODY: Red Starbucks Cup

Facebook has blown up over the stupidity of one or two (or maybe a dozen) so-called Christians who may or may not be objecting to the lack of Christmas messages on Starbucks cups. So with that in mind, I decided to put pen to paper once again for the purpose of parody. Here's my humble effort.

Red Starbucks Cup

(parody of “Red Solo Cup”)

Now a red Starbucks cup ends pumpkin spice season,

But there’s no “Merry Christmas” for some unknown reason,

And taking it off does not seem too pleasin’

To one or two Christians, it seems.

While most true believers don’t seem to be bitter,

Social media seems to have gone all a-twitter

‘Cause some silly bleaters with hearts all a-flitter

View these plain, red cups and scream.

(refrain) Red Starbucks cup, no tree? What’s up?

Let’s all sound stupid. Let’s all sound stupid.

Red Starbucks cup, my dander’s up.

Proceed to stupid. Proceed to stupid.

Now I really love your overpriced Joe,

But it seems like you’re bashing on Christmas, you know?

And we take our holidays serious, yo.

So that, my friends, makes us sad.

But I have to admit it makes Christians sound silly

When we call for boycotts of stores willy-nilly,

Is it Starbucks’ job to share Christmastime, really?

Come on folks. This just sounds bad.

(refrain) Red Starbucks cup, no tree? What’s up?

Let’s all sound stupid. Let’s all sound stupid.

Red Starbucks cup, my dander’s up.

Proceed to stupid. Proceed to stupid.

My bros and sisters in Christ, please be thinkin’.

This shaken black tea lemonade I’ve been drinkin’

Does not mean that any of us should be shrinkin’

From sharing Christ’s love on our own.

You few so-called Christian objectors, you’re crazy…

Or silly, or foolish, or maybe just lazy.

One thing’s for sure, your thinking is hazy.

Your whining is so overblown.

Red Starbucks cup, yes, you’re just a cup.

You’re caffeine.

Thank you for being caffeine.

(refrain) Red Starbucks cup, no tree? What’s up?

Let’s all sound stupid. Let’s all sound stupid.

Red Starbucks cup, my dander’s up.

Proceed to stupid. Proceed to stupid. (repeat)